Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search

 

Bernard Weiner: Inside Karl Rove's Election Diary

Inside Karl Rove's Election-Night Diary


By Bernard Weiner
http://CrisisPapers.org

Now, THAT was fun! The liberals never knew what hit 'em. Clueless, those guys.

But, based on our polling and focus groups, your's truly knew weeks ago. That's why I could safely send George out on the hustings for that last-minute pick-me-up to the GOP troops. (The Prez wasn't happy about having to work, and disrupting his nap patterns, but he sure appreciates my plan now.)

The boy genius rides again. Sure feels good. I needed to redeem myself big time after blowing the Jim Jeffords thing, which threw our whole agenda into disarray.

But now it's clear sailing. Thank you, Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. We rode those bogeymen into the sunset. I was worried that maybe we were too obvious and the electorate might see through what we were doing. But no worry; by playing up the possibility of new terror attacks and the evil Saddam, the fear factor worked, and the American citizenry marched in lockstep, giving us whatever we wanted.

Our friends in the media kept all that sinking-economy news off the front pages, and all our scandals as well (I loved the way I orchestrated Harvey Pitt's resignation, dropped right into the election coverage and nobody even noticed), and then, thank you Lord!, the D.C. sniper came along and dominated the news cycles for several weeks just before the vote. And he was even named "Muhammed"! Couldn't have asked for a better script.

And the best part was that the Dems didn't know what to do. They were so unbelievably disspirited and disorganized. They wanted to slam us on the Iraq issue but couldn't or they'd risk revealing themselves for the unpatriotic wimps they are, so a lot felt obliged to vote with us. When key Dem leaders like Daschle and Gephardt and Feinstein and Kerry voted with us, I knew the election was in the bag.

Those stupid liberals had no unified program to offer in opposition to ours -- and, what's more important, no balls. The September 11 events are still working their magic for us, just as we thought they would. (And now, given the election results, we can be assured that there will be no independent investigation of our behavior or the coverup. We're home free!)

Well, sure, we've still got to work with the Dems in the Senate, who could, if they decide they're going to put up a fight, cause trouble for our legislation. But, I think we can roll enough of them to get the required 60 votes when we have to.

We'll get our judges approved, we'll get the tax cut made permanent for our friends, we'll change the composition of the Supreme Court (goodbye, Roe v. Wade!), ANWAR here we come with our drilling rigs, and on to Baghdad. (If we really want to go there; we don't need to now. We could get the U.N. inspectors in there and finesse our way out of having to invade.)

The added bonus of our electoral sweep is that we're in good shape for the 2004 race. Jeb's in place, and Liddy might be a dynamite partner for George. A Bush-Dole ticket! Now, that's brilliant! We'll carve the womens' vote away from the Dems. They can keep the Jews and the blacks and Arabs. The Dems ain't goin' anywhere for a long time. We're in like Flynn for at least six more years, with Jeb to follow.

We've got the Congress, we've got the White House, we've got the Supreme Court, we've got the media in our pockets. And all the Dems have to oppose us is a few predictable malcontents, an insignifcant peace movement (which we can always ruin with some of our undercover guys engineering some violence), and some wackos writing on the internet.

Given our election sweep, Ashcroft can take care of all those traitors, without having to look over his shoulder all the time. John is so happy; he was smarting about having lost to a dead man in the last election, but the Carnahan widow is no more.

Of course, it's possible that we've stirred up a hornet's nest and the Dems will be galvanized to reorganize themselves into a true opposition. (Gephardt probably will resign as House Minority Leader -- I don't blame him: Nobody wants to have to do daily battle against that obnoxious, but effective, buzzsaw Tom Delay).

But I doubt it. They're too frightened and scattered, and they just don't have the troops behind them in the electorate to give them courage. Nor do they have a real leader; Daschle and Gephardt abdicated when they voted for the Iraq war. Wellstone could have been the rally-around guy, but, sorry for him great for us, he's gone.

No need to worry. We're in the driver's seat for the next six years, and probably beyond, and our political enemies are just going to have to get used to it. If not, we'll destroy them totally. This is going to be so much fun!

# # # #

- Bernard Weiner, Ph.D., is co-editor of the new online political site http://CrisisPapers.org , has taught American politics and international relations at San Diego State and Western Washington Universities, and was with the San Francisco Chronicle for nearly 20 years.


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Reese Erlich: Foreign Correspondent: Trump Plays Both Sides Against The Middle

Is he a hawk? Is he a peacenik? The President keeps us guessing . By Reese Erlich President Donald Trump has convinced Republican isolationists and hawks that he supports their views. That’s a neat trick, since the two groups hold opposing positions. ... More>>

Binoy Kampmark: Waiting For The Old Bailey: Julian Assange And Britain’s Judicial Establishment

On September 7, Julian Assange will be facing another round of gruelling extradition proceedings, in the Old Bailey, part of a process that has become a form of gradual state-sanctioned torture. The US Department of Justice hungers for their man. The More>>



Gordon Campbell: On The Sorry Plight Of The International Education Sector

Tourism and international education have been two of the sectors hardest hit by the pandemic. They’re both key export industries. Yet the government response to them has been strikingly different. There has been nothing beyond a few words of ministerial condolence and a $51.6 million package (details below) to get the sector through the pandemic...
More>>

Binoy Kampmark: Google’s Open Letter: Fighting Australia’s News Media Bargaining Code

Tech giants tend to cast thin veils over threats regarding government regulations. They are also particularly concerned by those more public spirited ones, the sort supposedly made for the broader interest. Google has given us an example of this ... More>>


Gordon Campbell: On Trump’s Current Chances Of Re-Election

By now it seems clear that National have no fresh ideas to offer for how New Zealand could avoid the Covid-19 economic crisis. As in the past, National has set an arbitrary 30% ratio of government debt to GDP that it aims to achieve “in a decade or so,” ... More>>

The Conversation: Rogue Poll Or Not, All The Signs Point To A Tectonic Shift In New Zealand Politics

Richard Shaw AAP(various)/NZ Greens (CC-BY-SA)/The Conversation Strong team. More jobs. Better economy. So say the National Party’s campaign hoardings. Only thing is, last Sunday’s Newshub-Reid Research poll – which had support for the Labour ... More>>

The Coronavirus Republic: Three Million Infections And Rising

The United States is famed for doing things, not to scale, but off it. Size is the be-all and end-all, and the coronavirus is now doing its bit to assure that the country remains unrivalled in the charts of infection . In time, other unfortunates may well ... More>>

Binoy Kampmark: Altars Of Hypocrisy: George Floyd, Protest And Black Face

Be wary what you protest about. The modern moral constabulary are out, and they are assisted by their Silicon Valley friends in the Social Media club. Should you dare take a stand on anything, especially in a dramatic way, you will be found out ... More>>