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Iraqi Freewill A Hinderance To Democracy – Bush

Bush Says Iraqi Freewill A Hinderance To Democracy


President vows not to 'cut and run' as he tells Bremer to make plans for an abrupt withdrawal from Iraq.
Satire from freepressed.com


CAPTION: From left, Ahmed Chalabi, Jalal Talabani and a scary looking third Iraqi answer questions about Bush's promise not to cut and run while making plans to do just that.

Washington, D.C.-- President Bush conducted an emergency meeting with top coalition civilian administrator Paul Bremer Tuesday and Wednesday to plan the next misstep in the occupation of Iraq.

The outcome of the meeting was a reversal of the administration's original pledge to bring democracy to Iraq whatever the cost.

The new plan instead calls for a hasty June 04 withdrawal in which the Iraqis are invited to either create a democracy out of thin air or descend into a dark future of chaos and anarchy in which terrorists flourish and anti-Americanism rules the day--according to the more optimistic analyses.

The new strategy also coincides with announcements earlier in the week that the Pentagon will begin drawing down US forces beginning next year. Under a troop rotation plan announced last week, the overall number of American troops in Iraq will fall to 105,000 by May from the current 130,000.


CAPTION: President Bush tells reporters that the latest downing of two Black Hawk helicopters over Mosul is another positive sign of progress.

Bush reminded Americans that this lack of resolve is not a reflection of America's lack of committment to Iraq.

"I've said it many times and I'll say it again. We will not 'cut' and run from Iraq in the face of mounting casualties," Bush stated. "But I never said we wouldn't 'turn tail' and run for political considerations five months before the presidential election. I think you'll agree that there's a big difference between the two."

Bremer was summoned to the White House from his office in Saddam Hussein's presidential palace in Baghdad following the downing of two US military helicopters that killed 22 American soldiers the previous week.

The rocket attacks on the helicopters were preceded by a substantial up tick in attacks on coalition forces and a report by the CIA warning that the Iraqi population is increasingly turning against the American occupation.


CAPTION: Bremer: "Jesus I can't wait to get out of that hell hole called Iraq. The sooner we cut an...I mean turn tail and run, the better

Adding insult to injury, the US appointed Iraqi Governing Council has become increasingly critical of the Coalition Provisional Authority's unwillingness to share power and responsibility.

"Seems to me that all this self-determination and free will of Iraqis is getting in the way of American-style democracy," Bush said.

"It reminds me of something else I've said on several occasions without really thinking about how idiotic it sounds-- that it'd be easier if the Iraqi government was a dictatorship...so long as I'm the dictator."

- Contact freepressed@brentflynn.com to receive the weekly email edition of FreePressed.


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