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Insurgents Celebrate Capture With Suicide Bombings

Iraqi insurgents celebrate capture of Saddam Hussein with fresh round of suicide bombings


Celebratory gunfire turned into celebratory attacks on Iraqi police stations Monday.
Satire from… freepressed.com


Caption: Celebration quickly turned to annihilation after news of Saddam's capture sank in.

Baghdad-- In a show of national unity and reconciliation following the capture of Saddam Hussein, Iraqi insurgents drove car bombs into government facilities two days in a row.

Three different police stations in towns to the north and west of Baghdad came under celebratory attack killing nearly 30 policemen.

Just 12 hours after the announcement that Saddam Hussein was in US custody, a car bomb exploded near the police station in Khaldiya on Sunday killing 17 policemen.

On Monday, two nearly simultaneous car bombs killed at least eight people and wounded 17 at two separate Baghdad police stations.

Baghdad business owner Amir Talahabi said it's a tradition in Iraq to shoot guns in the air and blow oneself up as a show of celebration.

"Isn't this great?! Everyone is so happy," he said. "You may want to steer clear of the local law enforcement office, though."

For coalition commanders, the violence answers the question of whether getting Saddam would result in an end to the insurgency.

"Uh, that's a big negatory," responded Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, the commander of coalition forces.


Caption: Iraqis like to blow shit up when they get excited.

However, never ones to miss an opportunity to overstate Saddam's evil genius and intent, the Bush administration said Saddam was somehow directing the attacks from his hole in the ground near Tikrit.

This despite the fact that no communication equipment was found on the deposed tyrant and he didn't seem to know where or who he was when interviewed.

"The sinister cunning of our adversary is absolutely mind boggling. He was using the most primitive of technologies to avoid detection by our electronic surveillance equipment," Rumsfeld said. "By connecting two empty soup cans with string he was able to send messages to guerilla fighters from his command center in that ditch."

Rumsfeld said the joke's on Hussein, though, because now all coalition forces have to do is follow the string until they find the insurgents at the other end.

"God we're good," he said.

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