Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search

 

Freepressed: Democrats Fiddle While GOP Burns

Democrats Fiddle While GOP Burns


"Opposition" party leaders unsure whether now is the time to go on the offensive
Satire from freepressed.com


DNC Chairman Howard Dean said strumming the guitar takes his mind off of all the hard work needed for the Democrats to take back power.

DNC Headquarters -- The cluelessness of the Democratic Party has hit a new high in recent weeks as it continues to demonsrate an astonishing inability to capitalize on the implosion of the Republican Party.

Despite multiple scandals, gross incompetence, blatant cronyism, and the simple fact that Republican elected officials are lying bastards, Democrats seem content to sit back and enjoy the show. Howard Dean explained his party's strategy before going into a rousing rendition of the Eagles classic, Peaceful Easy Feeling.

"It's a well known fact that when your enemy is hanging himself, the best thing to do is stay out of the way and make sure he has enough rope. That's more or less our plan."

But experts agree that the Democrats have a troubling history of giving their Republican counterparts so much rope that they are able to put their feet on the ground, walk away from the execution, and then use the rope to tie politically inept Democrats to their horses and drag them through town.


Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) bored an entire convention center in Roanoke, VA. by playing the full-version of Hey Jude.

On Iraq, many Democrats have been hesitant to criticize the President's handling of the war for fear that they will have to offer an exit strategy of their own.

Former presidential candidate John Kerry, hamstrung by his vote for the Iraq resolution, tied himself into knots trying to explain what he would do differently in Iraq.

Kerry says he's getting out of the policy-making business all together so he can devote more time to his music.

"I'm starting a bi-partisan rock & roll band with John McCain called 'the Filibusters.' We're opening for Roger Clinton's band, so we might even get picked up by Hillary's fundraising tour that's set to kick-off sometime in 07'," he boasted. "Rocking across the USA sure beats saving it."

ENDS

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Fatuous Defence: Australia’s Guided Missile Plans

Even in times of pandemic crises, some things never change. While Australia gurgles and bumbles slowly with its COVID-19 vaccine rollout, there are other priorities at stake. Threat inflators are receiving much interest in defence, and the media ... More>>

Richard S. Ehrlich: Cambodia's Hun Sen Feels Politically Vaccinated

BANGKOK, Thailand -- When Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen received his AstraZeneca vaccination shot, he suddenly felt invulnerable and vowed to rule indefinitely. Hun Sen is already one of the world's longest ruling prime ministers, confident his successor ... More>>

Reese Erlich: Foreign Correspondent: My Final Column?

I’m dying. It’s not easy to write these words. But it’s true. More>>

Binoy Kampmark: Brawling Over Vaccines: Export Bans And The EU’s Bungled Rollout
The European Union has been keeping up appearances in encouraging the equitable distribution of vaccines to combat SARS-CoV-2 and its disease, COVID-19. Numerous statements speak to the need to back the COVAX scheme, to ensure equity and that no one state misses out... More>>

Jennifer S. Hunt: Trump Evades Conviction Again As Republicans Opt For Self-Preservation

By Jennifer S. Hunt Lecturer in Security Studies, Australian National University Twice-impeached former US President Donald Trump has evaded conviction once more. On the fourth day of the impeachment trial, the Senate verdict is in . Voting guilty: ... More>>

Binoy Kampmark: Let The Investigation Begin: The International Criminal Court, Israel And The Palestinian Territories

International tribunals tend to be praised, in principle, by those they avoid investigating. Once interest shifts to those parties, such bodies become the subject of accusations: bias, politicisation, crude arbitrariness. The United States, whose legal and political ... More>>