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Lyndon Hood: More 'Innovative' Reshuffling

Suggestions for More 'Innovative' Reshuffling


Satire by Lyndon Hood


Click for big version

First, there was the constitutional innovation involved in the formation of the new Government. Now, Don Brash has created a post for Wayne Mapp officially titled "Political Correctness Eradicator".

This throws open a world of possibilities. Scoop has some suggestions for forthcoming re-reshuffles.

Mangrove EradicatorSandra Goudie
National Party Sneering SpokesmanTony Ryall
Shadow Minister for Fronting the Interviews when Someone Else Has Screwed UpGerry Brownlee
Minister for Spending the Leaders Fund on What Might Possibly Be Public Information According to the Speaker's Rules but Looks Like Campaign Material to the Electoral OfficerHelen Clark
Convenor of the Ministerial Panel on Sisterhood AffairsHelen Clark
Minister of Smug WitticismsMichael Cullen
National Party Liaison with MediaLeaked Emails
Emeritus Minister of Wine and CheeseJonathan Hunt
Minister for Getting Pacific Islanders into the CountryPhillip Field
Minister (Outside Cabinet) in Charge of Supporting a Government He Doesn’t Actually WantPeter Dunne
United Future Spokesman on Petulant WhiningPeter Dunne
Minister of Pretending Not to be Part of the GovernmentWinston Peters
NZ First Chief Baubles-of OfficerWinston Peters
Maori Party Pretending an Alliance with National is Actually a Good Plan SpokeswomanTariana Turia
Green Party Spokespersibling on Wearing Braces a Lot and Acting All ReasonableRod Donald
Green Party Channeler of GaiaJeanette Fitzsimons
Opposition WebloggerRodney Hide
"The White Man"Don Brash
Shadow Leader of the GovernmentDon Brash
Leader of the Shadow GovernmentRoger Kerr
Opposition Spokesman on LunchtimeDon Brash
Captain NuclearLockwood Smith
National Party Liaison with Asian New ZealandersDon Brash
The Guy who's Job is to Think of Sensible Portfolios for National MPs Spend All That Time OnDon Brash

*******

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