Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search

 

Lyndon Hood: More 'Innovative' Reshuffling

Suggestions for More 'Innovative' Reshuffling


Satire by Lyndon Hood


Click for big version

First, there was the constitutional innovation involved in the formation of the new Government. Now, Don Brash has created a post for Wayne Mapp officially titled "Political Correctness Eradicator".

This throws open a world of possibilities. Scoop has some suggestions for forthcoming re-reshuffles.

Mangrove EradicatorSandra Goudie
National Party Sneering SpokesmanTony Ryall
Shadow Minister for Fronting the Interviews when Someone Else Has Screwed UpGerry Brownlee
Minister for Spending the Leaders Fund on What Might Possibly Be Public Information According to the Speaker's Rules but Looks Like Campaign Material to the Electoral OfficerHelen Clark
Convenor of the Ministerial Panel on Sisterhood AffairsHelen Clark
Minister of Smug WitticismsMichael Cullen
National Party Liaison with MediaLeaked Emails
Emeritus Minister of Wine and CheeseJonathan Hunt
Minister for Getting Pacific Islanders into the CountryPhillip Field
Minister (Outside Cabinet) in Charge of Supporting a Government He Doesn’t Actually WantPeter Dunne
United Future Spokesman on Petulant WhiningPeter Dunne
Minister of Pretending Not to be Part of the GovernmentWinston Peters
NZ First Chief Baubles-of OfficerWinston Peters
Maori Party Pretending an Alliance with National is Actually a Good Plan SpokeswomanTariana Turia
Green Party Spokespersibling on Wearing Braces a Lot and Acting All ReasonableRod Donald
Green Party Channeler of GaiaJeanette Fitzsimons
Opposition WebloggerRodney Hide
"The White Man"Don Brash
Shadow Leader of the GovernmentDon Brash
Leader of the Shadow GovernmentRoger Kerr
Opposition Spokesman on LunchtimeDon Brash
Captain NuclearLockwood Smith
National Party Liaison with Asian New ZealandersDon Brash
The Guy who's Job is to Think of Sensible Portfolios for National MPs Spend All That Time OnDon Brash

*******

fightingtalk.blogspot.com
homepages.ihug.co.nz/~lghood/

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Binoy Kampmark: The Major Questions Doctrine: The US Supreme Court Blunts The EPA
The US Supreme Court has been frantically busy of late, striking down law and legislation with an almost crazed, ideological enthusiasm. Gun laws have been invalidated; Roe v Wade and constitutional abortion rights, confined to history. And now, the Environmental Protection Agency has been clipped of its powers in a 6-3 decision.
The June 30 decision of West Virginia v Environmental Protection Agency was something of a shadow boxing act... More>>


Ian Powell: Are we happy living in Handy's Age of Unreason?

On 19 June the Sunday Star Times published my column on the relationship between the Labour government’s stewardship of Aotearoa New Zealand’s health system and the outcome of the next general election expected to be around September-October 2023: Is the health system an electoral sword of Damocles for Labour... More>>


The First Attack On The Independents: Albanese Hobbles The Crossbench
It did not take long for the new Australian Labor government to flex its muscle foolishly in response to the large crossbench of independents and small party members of Parliament. Despite promising a new age of transparency and accountability after the election of May 21, one of the first notable acts of the Albanese government was to attack the very people who gave voice to that movement. Dangerously, old party rule, however slim, is again found boneheaded and wanting... More>>


Dunne Speaks: "Let's Get Wellington Moving" Yeah, Right
There was great excitement in Wellington recently when the government finally announced – after much procrastination and indecision – its intentions for the ever so over-optimistically titled “Let’s Get Wellington Moving” plan... More>>


Dunne Speaks: Roe V. Wade Blindsides National

Momentum is everything in politics, but it is very fragile. There are times when unexpected actions can produce big shifts and changes in the political landscape. In 2017, for example, the Labour Party appeared headed for another hefty defeat in that year’s election until the abrupt decision of its then leader to step aside just weeks before the election. That decision changed the political landscape and set in train the events which led to Labour being anointed by New Zealand First to form a coalition government just a few weeks later... More>>

Digitl: Infrastructure Commission wants digital strategy
Earlier this month Te Waihanga, New Zealand’s infrastructure commission, tabled its first Infrastructure Strategy: Rautaki Hanganga o Aotearoa. Te Waihanga describes its document as a road map for a thriving New Zealand... More>>