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Lyndon Hood: National's Labour Spin Spin Machine

Satire: National's Labour Spin Machine Spin Machine


By Lyndon Hood


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Following the discovery of a confidential Labour discussion document on communications, National MPs have slammed the Government's approach as "all spin and no substance" for one of the paper's suggestions: that repeating phrases again and again can be used to control the media debate.

"This is Labour up to is old tricks," said Deputy Leader Gerry Brownlee, "Once again Helen Clark and spin doctors on the ninth floor are trying to pull the wool over taxpayers' eyes. It's yet more PC nonsense from a Prime Minister that refuses to be held to account for her big government, anti-business policies.

"When will she wake up and stop trying to pretend there is no problem, instead of arrogantly spending taxpayers' hard-earned money on twilight golf, hip-hop tours, the billion-dollar Kyoto bungle, out-of-control crime, race-based funding and more and more sycophantic Wellington bureaucrats? As always, Auntie Helen knows better than hardworking mainstream New Zealanders how to spend their money."

"This is chardonnay socialism at its worst. But she refuses to front up and apologise. That's why there must be a full and wide-ranging inquiry into the almost 600 people a week fleeing to Australia from the tax-and-spend Labour government," said Brownlee.

"Tax cuts," he added.

"This 'Spin Letter' is yet more proof of a government in crisis," said Health Spokesman Tony Ryall, "Helen Clark's tired front bench has no ideas and no vision. Labour is desperately trying to cling to power by using political spin to cover up its tax grabs, its culture of public sector waste and its pandering to the political correct brigade, the Treaty grievance industry bandwagon, and Helen Clark's Labour mates.

"Is Helen Clark going to stop relying on empty rhetoric and face up to the real problems of welfare dependency - instead of a hand up not a hand-out - and the erosion of private property rights that are destroying middle New Zealand? Or will just we see yet more excuses, running for cover and playing fast and loose with the facts from this tired and arrogant third-term Labour government?"

"Mainstream New Zealanders are sick and tired," explained leader Don Brash, "of this empty politically correct spin. They have no confidence in Helen Clark's ideological decision to deny them tax relief, and businesses are suffocated by the burden of red tape and government regulation. This 'Bondi Budget' offers no tax cuts, not even a packet of chewing gum, and mindlessly repeating buzzwords like 'investment' won't change that."

"Frankly," Dr Brash concluded, "it makes them look rather silly."

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