ACT New Zealand Health Spokesman Heather Roy today expressed hope that Santa did not fall out of his sleigh while in New Zealand, as his chances of receiving quality healthcare would mean that children throughout the world would miss out on their Christmas presents.
"If he were to suffer an injury, however, I hope Santa has his wallet - as artists' impressions make it clear that he is the wrong colour to receive properly subsidised treatment," Mrs Roy said.
"That said, however, perhaps St Nick will be lucky - and land in a predominantly low-income area. Then he would be entitled to cheaper healthcare than he would if he landed in Ohariu-Belmont.
"But once Santa made it to hospital, there is no guarantee he would be seen in a timely manner. Perhaps he would be diagnosed as having heart disease - a danger for those suffering from obesity - and left to languish on a waiting list.
"Of course, once
word gets out that millions of children have missed out
on their presents while Santa is shuffled from the waiting
list to a GP, Health Minister Annette King will devolve
all responsibility - and the last medical professional to
see him will be left to take the blame," Mrs Roy said.