Scoop has an Ethical Paywall
Work smarter with a Pro licence Learn More
Parliament

Gordon Campbell | Parliament TV | Parliament Today | Video | Questions Of the Day | Search

 

Careful, Santa


Careful, Santa

ACT New Zealand Health Spokesman Heather Roy today expressed hope that Santa did not fall out of his sleigh while in New Zealand, as his chances of receiving quality healthcare would mean that children throughout the world would miss out on their Christmas presents.

"If he were to suffer an injury, however, I hope Santa has his wallet - as artists' impressions make it clear that he is the wrong colour to receive properly subsidised treatment," Mrs Roy said.

"That said, however, perhaps St Nick will be lucky - and land in a predominantly low-income area. Then he would be entitled to cheaper healthcare than he would if he landed in Ohariu-Belmont.

"But once Santa made it to hospital, there is no guarantee he would be seen in a timely manner. Perhaps he would be diagnosed as having heart disease - a danger for those suffering from obesity - and left to languish on a waiting list.

"Of course, once word gets out that millions of children have missed out on their presents while Santa is shuffled from the waiting list to a GP, Health Minister Annette King will devolve all responsibility - and the last medical professional to see him will be left to take the blame," Mrs Roy said.

Advertisement - scroll to continue reading

Are you getting our free newsletter?

Subscribe to Scoop’s 'The Catch Up' our free weekly newsletter sent to your inbox every Monday with stories from across our network.

© Scoop Media

Advertisement - scroll to continue reading
 
 
 
Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines


Gordon Campbell: On National Spreading Panic About The Economy


The lure for New Zealand to join the AUKUS military alliance is that membership of only its “second pillar” will still (supposedly) give us access to state of the art military technologies. As top US official Kurt Campbell said during his visit to Wellington a year ago:
...We've been gratified by how many countries want to join with us to work with cutting-edge technologies like in the cyber arena, hypersonics, you can go down a long list and it's great to hear that New Zealand is interested...
More


 
 


Government: Retiring Chief Of Navy Thanked For His Service

Defence Minister Judith Collins has thanked the Chief of Navy, Rear Admiral David Proctor, for his service as he retires from the Royal New Zealand Navy after 37 years. Rear Admiral Proctor will retire on 16 May to take up an employment opportunity in Australia... More


Labour: Grant Robertson To Retire From Parliament
Labour List MP and former Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Finance Grant Robertson will retire from Parliament next month, and later in the year take up the position of Vice Chancellor of the University of Otago... More

Government: Humanitarian Support For Gaza & West Bank

Winston Peters has announced NZ is providing a further $5M to respond to the extreme humanitarian need in Gaza and the West Bank. “The impact of the Israel-Hamas conflict on civilians is absolutely appalling," he said... More


Government: New High Court Judge Appointed

Judith Collins has announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister Jason Scott McHerron as a High Court Judge. Justice McHerron graduated from the University of Otago with a BA in English Literature in 1994 and an LLB in 1996... More

 
 
 
 
 
 

LATEST HEADLINES

  • PARLIAMENT
  • POLITICS
  • REGIONAL
 
 

InfoPages News Channels


 
 
 
 

Join Our Free Newsletter

Subscribe to Scoop’s 'The Catch Up' our free weekly newsletter sent to your inbox every Monday with stories from across our network.