Teal Ribbon Speech by Su’a William Sio, MP for Mangere

Saturday 13 November 2010

Welcome to Mangere, the Gateway to the nation, and home of the young,
beautiful and gifted.

Earlier this month, we were reminded of the importance of families, of
our children and of the future of our Pacific heritage of some of our
kids at Lotu Tamaiti – White Sunday.

White Sunday celebrates these things – it celebrates the concept of
family and of community. So we all know how important family is – yet
violence continues to occur.

We have a collective responsibility to ensure that our children, and our
children’s children, live in environments that are safe and free from
violence.

I want this collective responsibility to extend all the way through
society – right up to the government.

It’s a responsibility that we must take seriously, and in the past
several years, Labour put in place some major initiatives designed to
address the root causes of family violence, supported by many if not all
parties in Parliament.

A few years ago, on Mangere Mountain, the Police showed us some horrific
examples based on statistics that one third of all murders in New
Zealand are family violence related.

It stunned many of us. It showed that we are hurting the very people we
are meant to love the most – something that too often used to be written
off as a crime of passion, or just another domestic between Mum and Dad.

The TV ad campaign “Its Not Ok” reflected that New Zealand has had
enough, and we’ve collectively decided that “It’s Not OK.” The Campaign
is designed to make family violence everybody’s business, and may of us
have taken some kind of action as a result of that campaign.

A few months ago while I was watching Manukau Rovers play Pakuranga,
some of the boys got a bit rough and started pushing each other around
after a hard tackle. A woman watching the game, called out. “Its Not
Okay” boys It’s Not Okay. I think the boys did hear her, because they
stopped.

Last month Parliament debated and passed the Govt’s Child and Family
Protection Bill.

Labour supports any measure that aims to mitigate and prevent the harm
of domestic violence. We said to this Government that while we supported
their Bill, we did not think it was ambitious enough for our children.
We believe that the this Government can, and should, be doing more to
mitigate and prevent domestic violence. I believe future governments
need to be ambitious about protecting families and children.

I would like to share some statistics on domestic violence in New
Zealand that highlight why I think this Government and future
governments can, and should, be doing more to prevent domestic violence.

• In 2008 the police responded to about 83,000 incidents
involving some form of domestic violence.

• Four to 10 percent of New Zealand children experience physical
abuse;

• 24 percent of girls and 11 percent of boys experience sexual
abuse.

• In 2007, 6,400 children were involved in applications for
protection orders. Most of those children had witnessed violence. Some
had been subjected to violence directly themselves.

• New Zealand’s domestic violence rates do not compare well with
other OECD countries, and we have the worst rate in the world of child
death by maltreatment.

• A recent report commissioned by Every Child Counts found that
child abuse and neglect in New Zealand costs around $2 billion per year.

These statistics may not mean much to most people - they are just
numbers, you might say.

Let me share with you some real life experiences which reflect how real
these statistics are.

I repeat the experiences from the mouths of children who are and have
been the victims of domestic violence.

I had the opportunity with the Social Services Committee to visit a
Wellington organisation that provides support, encouragement, and
counselling to a group of young men who range in age from 12 to 19 years.

Members of the committee heard, firsthand, the horrific life stories of
when they were young children.

• One as young as 4 years old was left to look after younger
siblings. They had been abandoned by their parents who were out on a
drinking spree, and left to fend for themselves with no food in the
cupboards.

• We heard terrible stories and graphic detail of how children
were beaten up, sexually abused, or witnessed the degrading of their mother.

• I apologise to you in advance, but I would like to share some
of these stories. They are horrible stories. They were told to me in
graphic, violent detail.

• One young man revealed how, at night, a woman, would enter his
bedroom and sexually abuse him. It was painful for him. He prays to God
for help. God does not answer him, and the abuse continues. This young
man grew up hating God and then hated himself. He is recovering.

• Another said that whenever his dad was drunk, the son would
have to sit on the laps of his dad’s friends and he would massage each
of his father’s friends. He was 6 years old. He hates his father, but he
also needs him.

• Another young boy, at 9 years old, was raped by his mother’s
boyfriend. The boyfriend pushed his head into the mattress and sodomised
him. The man said: “I’m doing this to teach you to respect me.” His mum
does not want to know what happened. The boy wishes his dad were alive
so he could do something about this guy.

• There were also stories of how these young children witnessed
the degrading of their mothers. One boy described how his dad tried to
kill his mum by pouring gasoline on her while they watched. Their mum is
depressed and shuts them out now.

• Another boy described how his dad gave his mum a beating and
she was bleeding all over. This was when he was only 4 years old. His
father made him clean up all the blood.

• Another terrible story was about a father who likes getting
drunk and who beats up his wife and forces her to prostitute. Whenever
she finishes taking men, the father insists on knowing all the graphic
details of what they did.. The young daughter who witnessed all this,
later in life became a prostitute herself and would beat up the men she
was with. She ended up going too far and killed a man, and now she is in
prison.

• Yet another story, just as horrible, is that of a 6-year-old
who was beaten by her mother because she could not read. When she played
with matches, she was threatened with burning by having her hand held
over a lit stove. At 7 years old her father sold her so he could buy
alcohol, and she was raped 40 times.

I’m sorry for repeating these stories. I have attempted to tone it down
for your sake. These stories underscore how important it is to be
ambitious about protecting children from domestic violence and abuse.
These are real stories. These are real people. These are our kids.

These stories come from Māori, Pākehā, and Pacific kids. I highlight
that fact, as there are many myths about domestic violence.

Often when we read letters in newspapers or blogs on the Internet, or
listen to radio talkback shows, we hear a host of myths about domestic
violence being regularly promoted. They include suggestions that only
drunk or mentally ill men are violent.

Others blame women for staying in abusive relationships or provoking the
violence against them. The reality is that although some who perpetuate
domestic violence are drunks, many are not; some abusers are mentally
ill, but many are not.

Responsibility for abuse must lie with the person who is abusing others.
No one ever deserves to be abused, struck, beaten, or raped.

One myth that has been difficult to change has been the suggestion that
domestic violence occurs in certain sectors of society and not in others.

It is often suggested that domestic violence is something that occurs
only in poor neighbourhoods or in Māori and Pacific families. This is
just not true.

Men who physically abuse their partners and children, and it is mostly
men, come from all occupations, classes, religions, and ethnicities.

Domestic violence, whether one is Pākehā or Pasifika, Māori or Asian, is
never right.

The Governor-General Sir Anand Satyaanand, made these remarks earlier
this year: “Cultural norms can never be used as an excuse for violence,
whether that be within the family or elsewhere. To those who would argue
otherwise, I would respond that the ‘tradition’—and I place the words in
quotes—has either been twisted and misinterpreted or simply has no place
in New Zealand society.”

Another factor which contributes significantly to violence in the homes,
on the sports field, in the community is the alcohol abuse and the binge
drinking culture we have normalised since alcohol was made so easily
accessible over many years.

We now have an alcohol crisis in our country.

Sir Paul Reeves, Dame Temuranga Batley-Jackson, Papalii Dr Semisi
Ma’ia’i and others have called on all Members of Parliament to use the
current historic opportunity brought about by the Law Commission’s
“first principles” review of the liquor laws, to change the damaging
heavy drinking culture in New Zealand.

The economic cost of the harm caused by heavy drinking is in the billions.

• Twenty five percent of New Zealand drinkers are heavy drinkers.

• A third of all police apprehensions involve alcohol. Half of
all serious violent crimes relate to alcohol.

• Up to 75% of adult presentations at Emergency Departments on
Thursday to Saturday nights are alcohol-related.

• There are over 500 serious and fatal injury traffic crashes
every year.

• There are over 1000 alcohol deaths every year.

• There are 70,000 alcohol-related physical and sexual assaults
each year, and much, much more.

We need future leaders who are prepared to stand up and be counted and
say to their peers and future generations that life can be enjoyed
without alcohol.

We need them to say that social events don’t need to have alcohol in
order for it to be successful events.

There is overwhelming evidence that all point out the significant
economic, social and health costs that arise from alcohol and
tobacco-related harm in our families, community and country.

Domestic violence is not confined to the poor, brown and uneducated, it
affects all of us. This is why we need to be working together to combat
it..

As a parent, I do not want my children to be addicted to alcohol,
tobacco, or any other drug. I do not want my children to be involved in
violence of any kind or form whatsoever.

Our country spends so much money combating domestic violence, paying for
the economic, social and health harms caused by alcohol &
tobacco-related harm when this money should be spent on our kids education.

My aspiration is that our children release their fullest potential, grow
their gifts and talents, and become the best leaders we have ever seen.

To prepare our kids for this, we must stand together to fight those who
are opposed to our kids taking up their rightful leadership place in the
future of New Zealand.

Anyone targeting our kids with an intent to harm them, physically or
emotionally, or aims to stifle our kids progress in life, is my enemy,
is an enemy of my community and should be an enemy of this nation.

Let us renew again this year our collective commitment that we stand
together in opposition to violence in our homes. Let us rededicate our
efforts that we oppose violence in our community, and we will battle
ahead to oppose those factors that contribute to violence in our country.

Let us re-dedicate ourselves to continue the fight against the thinking
of those who think it is ok. Let us all say together, It is Not Ok.
Let us all aim to be violence free.

Ia soifua

© Scoop Media