Gordon Campbell | Parliament TV | Parliament Today | News Video | Crime | Employers | Housing | Immigration | Legal | Local Govt. | Maori | Welfare | Unions | Youth | Search

 

The New Write 20/8/01

THE NEW WRITE

Official Newsletter of the New Zealand Young Nationals
20th August 2001

"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."

-P. J. O'Rourke

1. RIGHT WING PROVES SUPERIORITY IN BATTLE
2. YOUTH RADIO UPDATE
3. MAHAREY REVEALS SOURCE OF BRIBE MONEY
4. TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE GOVERNMENT NEEDS GENETIC ENGINEERING
5. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK


1. RIGHT WING PROVES SUPERIORITY IN BATTLE

The Young Nationals proved in Wellington last week they are not just superior on the ideological battlefield, but on the actual battlefield as well.

Last Friday saw the annual "Battle of Hunter Lawn" between the Right and Left at Victoria University. However a well-armed and trained Team Force Tory, lead by Lt Col Phil Rennie, found that the Left had failed to even organise a team. Whether this was a result of cowardice, or just plain incompetence, is unclear.

The gang of angry Tories, armed with water bombs and 200 eggs, then proceeded to occupy the Student Union Office in protest. When their demands were not met they showed mercy and released their socialist hostages peacefully.

But the battle did not end there – oh no. The brave Tories were then attacked by geeks from KAOS, the water-pistol club. However the foolish foes were soon overwhelmed by the sheer firepower of the ferocious Tories.

There were many heroes of the day – Lt Ferguson proved she is not just a pretty face, while Mark "The Hit Man" Chang and Brendon "Mad Dog" Pallesen provided aggression and courage, (if not accuracy and subtlety).

Better Dead Than Red!!!


2. YOUTH RADIO UPDATE

Broadcasting Minister Marian Hobbs has made a statement denying that a Youth Radio Network is proceeding, and says that the government is "still considering all options for youth radio."

This is despite the fact that Hobbs has been the Broadcasting Minister for nearly two years, and before that Labour had nine years in opposition to develop it’s policy.

"No decisions have been taken," Marian Hobbs said. "We are aware there are strong views on the various options being considered for meeting the radio needs of young people. This was obvious at the Youth Radio Forum we ran last year."

In another development, a childrens radio network called 'KidsNet' has been proposed. It is being spearheaded by a group of representatives from a variety of sectors, and includes Youthtown president Maurice Chatfield, entertainer Peter Urlich, TVNZ board member Vivien Bridgwater, 'What Now' actor, author and radio announcer Steve Joll, among others.

"While it's admirable that the government wishes to address social issues through radio and acknowledges the urgency of the youth suicide problem, what is proposed here is 'ambulances at the bottom of the cliff' material," says Andrew Dubber, KidsNet spokesman and lecturer in Communication Studies at AUT. "A feeling of belonging in a culture and a societal connection is not something that can be applied as a remedial measure at the point of crisis - it's something you need to grow up with."

"The radio industry in New Zealand is not remotely interested in children, and it's exactly where a state-financed station can do the most good. The coalition can have their promised radio network without stepping on industry toes and provide more long-term benefit than they ever could have with a teen-focused station," says Dubber. "It's an elegant solution."


3. MAHAREY REVEALS SOURCE OF BRIBE MONEY

Steve Maharey's $35 million bribe to universities is at the expense of private education providers, says ACT MP Dr Muriel Newman.

"In response to my written Parliamentary question [number 10848] the Minister has today conceded all the money for his new so-called Tertiary Education Strategic Change Fund was made available by his recently announced funding moratorium for private training establishments.

"The Minister dug a big hole for himself with his 'no fee increase' demand to tertiary institutions. His way of clambering out has been to clobber the private educators with the moratorium and then pay off the public educators with this new phoney fund.

"The big losers in all this are the private education providers and 30,000 private students who stand to be punished for no other reason that they exercised their right to choose where they obtained their education.

"This is the worst kind of Government meddling and shows that the Government's new Tertiary Education Commission may well be little more than a front for Ministerial dictatorship.

"Mr Maharey is clearly signalling that this Government is ideologically opposed to the private provision of tertiary education, yet the trend in most OECD countries is towards choice and diversity in education, with the focus on excellence being a driving force. This Government is clearly heading in exactly the opposite direction."


4. TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE GOVERNMENT NEEDS GENETIC ENGINEERING

1. Anything that keeps Green MPs at protests and out of Parliament's
debating chamber can't be all bad.

2. To create a new breed of super-human ministers who won't fail
breath tests after a "quiet drink while working late at the office".

3. To clone Marion Hobbs to fill all the spare ministerial houses.

4. To discover the missing links: the common ancestors of Sue and Max
Bradford, John and Chris Carter, Linda and Helen Clark.

5. Make it genetically impossible for MPs to have a "Sue Bradford
Afro" or a "David Cunliffe Bowl Cut".

6. Human cloning: more people = more taxes!

7. To ensure Parekura Horomia gets enough potatoes to eat.

8. Genetically engineer MPs to give them pockets of their own to dip
into from time to time.

9. So Jim Anderton can be crossed with a rectangular piece of rubber
to create world's first human door mat.

10. So Helen Clark can have offspring.

Courtesy of St-Molesworth@yahoo.com


5. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK

www.thespark.com

An American website that has heaps of personality tests to discover the true ‘you’. They include, among many others, the bastard test, the bitch test, the money quizz, the ass rating, and the latest addition – the gay test.

Apparently I am 37% gay, just below the average of 39% for heterosexual males.

Hours of fun!

Any views expressed here are not necessarily those of New Zealand Young Nationals, or the New Zealand National Party.

Contributions, feedback, articles and subscriptions welcome.

Email newwrite@national.org.nz

Editor: Phil Rennie


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines


Gordon Campbell: On Whether Spotify Can Save Itself; Plus A Playlist


Spotify has to be one of the most interestingly futile mouse-wheels of 21st century capitalism. Run, run, run goes the Spotify mouse but it never, ever makes a profit. For reasons set out below, it maybe never will. But it won’t be for wont of trying. Reportedly, Spotify’s music library contains 70 million tracks and it adds 60,000 more each day. By some estimates it adds on average, one new track every 1.4 seconds. (No wonder it's so hard to keep up with new music.) Spotify has 345 million active users, and 155 million of them have been willing to pay a subscription in order to enjoy their music ad-free. Ads are not a major driver of company revenue...
More>>



Alastair Thompson: Are There TPLF Ethiopia Insurgency Training & Support Operations in Uganda?


Mystery Document Alleges:
Covert Operation has US/Egypt Support
Operations Coordinated between South Sudan, TPLF and Uganda
Planning began December 2021...

More>>




 
 

Prime Minister: Chatham House Speech
What an honour it is to be back in London, and to be here at Chatham house. This visit represents much for me. The reopening of borders and resumption of travel after a difficult few years... More>>


Government: New Zealand Secures Major Free Trade Deal With European Union
New Zealand and the European Union have concluded negotiations on a major free trade agreement (FTA), which unlocks access to one of the world’s biggest and most lucrative markets... More>>

ALSO:

Government: New Measures To Help Manage COVID-19 As Country Stays At Orange
The Government is taking action to help reduce the spread of COVID-19 in schools and early childhood services, COVID-19 Response Minster Dr Ayesha Verrall and Associate Education Minister Jan Tinetti announced today... More>>



Government: New Era For Better Health In Aotearoa New Zealand

The Government has today delivered a nationwide health system that will ensure better outcomes for all New Zealanders with the establishment of Te Whatu Ora - Health New Zealand... More>>



Greens: Alcohol Harm Minimisation Bill Pulled From Biscuit Tin

After years of research and advocacy, Parliament will finally consider legislation to take meaningful action on alcohol harm, says the Greens... More>>


Government: Wellington’s Rapid Transit Option Progresses To Next Stage
The Government is progressing a preferred option for LGWM which will see Wellington’s transport links strengthened with light rail from Wellington Station to Island Bay... More>>

 
 
 
 
 
 

LATEST HEADLINES

  • PARLIAMENT
  • POLITICS
  • REGIONAL
 
 

InfoPages News Channels