Make Paul The Octopus Rugby Ambassador
Make Paul The Octopus Rugby Ambassador, Say Libz
Libertarianz leader Richard McGrath today nominated the British octopus known as Paul as replacement for ex-All Black Andy Haden, whose utterances could not be kept under tight government control.
"Paul is the sort of useful idiot Lenin would have loved," said Dr McGrath. "A spineless creature of subhuman intelligence who can only choose between options selected for him by his masters. Ideal fodder for the political ends of John Key and Murray McCully."
"Andy Haden could not be relied on to stick to the script laid out for him by the National government who, as their name suggests, have nationalised the Rugby World Cup and would not hesitate to nationalise the rowing team ahead of the upcoming world championships. Their Labour predecessors were no better, forcing tax victims into funding local millionaires to compete in America's Cup yachting."
"Unfortunately, John and Murray weren't prepared for the prospect of one of their appointees having a mind of his own and not being afraid to speak it," added Dr McGrath. "The 'psychic' octopus would be a much better choice, incapable of saying anything remotely controversial."
"They could put his aquarium in one of those ugly sheds on the Auckland waterfront. Heaven knows no person in their right mind would want to party inside one of those architectural eyesores."
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Libertarianz: More Freedom, Less Government