Art & Entertainment | Book Reviews | Education | Entertainment Video | Health | Lifestyle | Sport | Sport Video | Search

 


Calling all true Aussies

Tues 3 March 09

Calling all true Aussies – where the bloody hell are ya

The organisers of the World Push Up Championships, which is taking place in Wellington on the 28th March 09, have to date been unable to get any Australian entries. It was expected that our friends from across the Tasman, the home of Ned Kelly, Crocodile Dundee and budgie smugglers would have been lining up to show how ‘man’ they are. In fact the reality seems to be the exact opposite.
 
According to Columba Cryan, President of the World Push Ups Federation “with the size of the country and its population, relative to other great sources of contestants, and previous winners, like New Zealand, the continued absence of Aussies who are man enough to take on the world’s best at push ups is astounding.  With their numerical advantage it is a clear case of the ‘odds are good but the goods are odd’.  It has become such a running theme that we have for the past two years awarded the ‘Australian Push Up Championship’ title to the weakest contestant in the World champs.”
 
Mr. Cryan and the World Push Ups team have been searching for Aussies to add to the field of European, Kiwi and US representatives taking past in this year’s contest but to no avail.  This year we have tried all the local AFL clubs and the Aussie consulate in an attempt to find an Aussie ex-pat who might have had this innate fear of push ups bred out of them.  But to date all our efforts have proved unsuccessful”
 
Irishman Daithi O’Connor, current title holder, said the lack of Aussie men was a constant source of amazement to him.  “I come from Cork, Ireland which has a population of less than half a million people, and has produced two world champs like.  To me, Australia has a large population of macho poseurs.  I bet you that they are just not man enough.  It’s a shame cause I love beatin the Aussies.  Like the English, it’s a special feeling to beat the head of them. But sure I don’t care who turns up I’ll kick their arse”.
 
According to Mr. Cryan, the World Push Ups team is still looking for an Aussie contestant and, in fact, anyone interested in participating has until Tuesday 17th March for the St Patrick’s Day face-off of all contestants in Wellington to register.  All would-be contestants, especially Aussies, can register their interest in participating at wwwpushups.co.nzby the 17th March.
 
According to Mr. Cryan “It’s the home of winners like Don Bradman but their poor achievements on the sporting field over the past years seems to be impacting on their appetite to even compete.  I’m sure that Aussie men are too busy these days practicing their song and dance routines with hairbrushes in front of mirrors and dreaming of big romantic epics. We’d love to see an Aussie contestant and heaven knows even a winner, but with similar lily-livered responses already this year, we suspect to see the winner will likely come from the traditional powerhouses of Europe, the US and New Zealand”.
 
Ends

 

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Culture Headlines | Health Headlines | Education Headlines

 
Werewolf: Katniss Joins The News Team

From the outset, the Hunger Games series has dwelt obsessively on the ways that media images infiltrate our public and personal lives... From that grim starting point, Mockingjay Part One takes the process a few stages further. There is very little of the film that does not involve the characters (a) being on screens (b) making propaganda footage to be screened and (c) reacting to what other characters have been doing on screens. More>>

ALSO:

Scoop Review Of Books: Ko Witi Te Kaituhituhi

Witi Ihimaera, the distinguished Māori author and the first Māori to publish a book of short stories and a novel, has adopted a new genre with his latest book. But despite its subtitle, this book is a great deal more than a memoir of childhood. More>>

Werewolf: Rescuing Paul Robeson

Would it be any harder these days, for the US government to destroy the career of a famous American entertainer and disappear them from history – purely because of their political beliefs? You would hope so. In 1940, Paul Robeson – a gifted black athlete, singer, film star, Shakespearean actor and orator – was one of the most beloved entertainers on the planet. More>>

ALSO:

"Not A Competition... A Quest": Chapman Tripp Theatre Award Winners

Big winners on the night were Equivocation (Promising Newcomer, Best Costume, Best Director and Production of the Year), Kiss the Fish (Best Music Composition, Outstanding New NZ Play and Best Supporting Actress), and Watch (Best Set, Best Sound Design and Outstanding Performance). More>>

ALSO:

Film Awards: The Dark Horse Scores Big

An inspirational film based on real life Gisborne speed-chess coach An inspirational film based on real life Gisborne speed-chess coach Genesis Potini, made all the right moves to take out top honours along with five other awards at the Rialto Channel New Zealand Film Awards - nicknamed The Moas. More>>

ALSO:

Theatre: Ralph McCubbin Howell Wins 2014 Bruce Mason Award

The Bruce Mason Playwriting Award was presented to Ralph McCubbin Howell at the Playmarket Accolades in Wellington on 23 November 2014. More>>

ALSO:

One Good Tern: Fairy Tern Crowned NZ Seabird Of The Year

The fairy tern and the Fiji petrel traded the lead in the poll several times. But a late surge saw it come out on top with 1882 votes. The Fiji petrel won 1801 votes, and 563 people voted for the little blue penguin. More>>

Music Awards: Lorde Reigns Supreme

Following a hugely successful year locally and internationally, Lorde has done it again taking out no less than six Tuis at the 49th annual Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards. More>>

ALSO:

Get More From Scoop

 
 

LATEST HEADLINES

 
 
 
 
Culture
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news