Art & Entertainment | Book Reviews | Education | Entertainment Video | Health | Lifestyle | Sport | Sport Video | Search


Calling all true Aussies

Tues 3 March 09

Calling all true Aussies – where the bloody hell are ya

The organisers of the World Push Up Championships, which is taking place in Wellington on the 28th March 09, have to date been unable to get any Australian entries. It was expected that our friends from across the Tasman, the home of Ned Kelly, Crocodile Dundee and budgie smugglers would have been lining up to show how ‘man’ they are. In fact the reality seems to be the exact opposite.
According to Columba Cryan, President of the World Push Ups Federation “with the size of the country and its population, relative to other great sources of contestants, and previous winners, like New Zealand, the continued absence of Aussies who are man enough to take on the world’s best at push ups is astounding.  With their numerical advantage it is a clear case of the ‘odds are good but the goods are odd’.  It has become such a running theme that we have for the past two years awarded the ‘Australian Push Up Championship’ title to the weakest contestant in the World champs.”
Mr. Cryan and the World Push Ups team have been searching for Aussies to add to the field of European, Kiwi and US representatives taking past in this year’s contest but to no avail.  This year we have tried all the local AFL clubs and the Aussie consulate in an attempt to find an Aussie ex-pat who might have had this innate fear of push ups bred out of them.  But to date all our efforts have proved unsuccessful”
Irishman Daithi O’Connor, current title holder, said the lack of Aussie men was a constant source of amazement to him.  “I come from Cork, Ireland which has a population of less than half a million people, and has produced two world champs like.  To me, Australia has a large population of macho poseurs.  I bet you that they are just not man enough.  It’s a shame cause I love beatin the Aussies.  Like the English, it’s a special feeling to beat the head of them. But sure I don’t care who turns up I’ll kick their arse”.
According to Mr. Cryan, the World Push Ups team is still looking for an Aussie contestant and, in fact, anyone interested in participating has until Tuesday 17th March for the St Patrick’s Day face-off of all contestants in Wellington to register.  All would-be contestants, especially Aussies, can register their interest in participating at the 17th March.
According to Mr. Cryan “It’s the home of winners like Don Bradman but their poor achievements on the sporting field over the past years seems to be impacting on their appetite to even compete.  I’m sure that Aussie men are too busy these days practicing their song and dance routines with hairbrushes in front of mirrors and dreaming of big romantic epics. We’d love to see an Aussie contestant and heaven knows even a winner, but with similar lily-livered responses already this year, we suspect to see the winner will likely come from the traditional powerhouses of Europe, the US and New Zealand”.


© Scoop Media

Culture Headlines | Health Headlines | Education Headlines


Howard Davis: Review - A Girl Named Mo

Moana Ete brought her three-piece band A Girl Named Mo to Wellington's intimate and iconic Bats Theatre last week for a five-night residency. Each show was recorded and filmed live for the release of her debut album 'Platonic/Romantic' on Loop records later this year. More>>

For The Birds: Who Will Be Crowned Bird Of The Year?

The competition involves well-known and enthusiastic New Zealanders acting as ‘campaign managers’ for their favourite birds with many going to great lengths to get New Zealanders to vote for their chosen bird... More>>


  • Greening the Red Zone - Bird of the year heats up: kōtare concedes, backs kea
  • Image Out-Link - Giselle Clarkson on Twitter
  • Gordon Campbell: On Bob Dylan's Nobel (And The Surplus)

    So Bob Dylan has just won the Nobel Prize for… Literature? Wow. I’d be just as happy if he’d won for his work on particle physics (“One Grain of Sand”, “Simple Twist of Fate”) or got the Economics prize for his work on the theory of contracting (“Don’t Think Twice Its Alright”) ... More>>


    Scoop Review Of Books: Whose Goat Was That?

    Mysterious Mysteries of Aro Valley is a sharp, satirical and sometimes downright scary romp through and around that valley in ways that made me question the realities of the places I thought I knew so well. More>>


    NZ On Air TV Funding: More Comedy Comes Out Of The Shadows

    Paranormal Event Response Unit is a series conceived by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi as a TV spin-off from their highly acclaimed feature film What We Do In The Shadows. More>>


    Mars News: Winners Announced For The 2016 Apra Silver Scroll Awards

    Wellington singer-songwriter and internationally acclaimed musician Thomas Oliver has won the 2016 APRA Silver Scroll Award with his captivating love song ‘If I Move To Mars’. More>>


    Get More From Scoop



    Search Scoop  
    Powered by Vodafone
    NZ independent news