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Calling all true Aussies

Tues 3 March 09

Calling all true Aussies – where the bloody hell are ya

The organisers of the World Push Up Championships, which is taking place in Wellington on the 28th March 09, have to date been unable to get any Australian entries. It was expected that our friends from across the Tasman, the home of Ned Kelly, Crocodile Dundee and budgie smugglers would have been lining up to show how ‘man’ they are. In fact the reality seems to be the exact opposite.
According to Columba Cryan, President of the World Push Ups Federation “with the size of the country and its population, relative to other great sources of contestants, and previous winners, like New Zealand, the continued absence of Aussies who are man enough to take on the world’s best at push ups is astounding.  With their numerical advantage it is a clear case of the ‘odds are good but the goods are odd’.  It has become such a running theme that we have for the past two years awarded the ‘Australian Push Up Championship’ title to the weakest contestant in the World champs.”
Mr. Cryan and the World Push Ups team have been searching for Aussies to add to the field of European, Kiwi and US representatives taking past in this year’s contest but to no avail.  This year we have tried all the local AFL clubs and the Aussie consulate in an attempt to find an Aussie ex-pat who might have had this innate fear of push ups bred out of them.  But to date all our efforts have proved unsuccessful”
Irishman Daithi O’Connor, current title holder, said the lack of Aussie men was a constant source of amazement to him.  “I come from Cork, Ireland which has a population of less than half a million people, and has produced two world champs like.  To me, Australia has a large population of macho poseurs.  I bet you that they are just not man enough.  It’s a shame cause I love beatin the Aussies.  Like the English, it’s a special feeling to beat the head of them. But sure I don’t care who turns up I’ll kick their arse”.
According to Mr. Cryan, the World Push Ups team is still looking for an Aussie contestant and, in fact, anyone interested in participating has until Tuesday 17th March for the St Patrick’s Day face-off of all contestants in Wellington to register.  All would-be contestants, especially Aussies, can register their interest in participating at the 17th March.
According to Mr. Cryan “It’s the home of winners like Don Bradman but their poor achievements on the sporting field over the past years seems to be impacting on their appetite to even compete.  I’m sure that Aussie men are too busy these days practicing their song and dance routines with hairbrushes in front of mirrors and dreaming of big romantic epics. We’d love to see an Aussie contestant and heaven knows even a winner, but with similar lily-livered responses already this year, we suspect to see the winner will likely come from the traditional powerhouses of Europe, the US and New Zealand”.


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