O'Rourke: Now Is The Winner Of Our Discontent

LOS ANGELES, November 11, 2004, (columnleft.com) -- What an interesting time to be a Democrat, in an odd, 'post-Nagasaki' sort of way.

Hollywood Liberals have been especially hard hit. They're lined up out here like stunned refugees at Starbucks on Sunset for Double Prozac Lattes, or huddled in tears watching old "West Wing" tapes. On a single positive note, old friends report post-election pity sex is the best since '72.

We knew Kerry would fail. It was easy to predict, right there in the internals on the last weekend before the election. Overnights clearly showed that most uncommitted dead and nonexistent digital voters were swinging big toward Bush on the 'values issue.' The Elite Media completely missed it. By Election Day, the undecided dead and nonexistent vote went 93% GOP.

Republican strategists had reached out early and often to the dead and nonexistent. Dead voters (DV), who traditionally trended Democratic, were a key GOP 2004 swing target. The party started focus groups with dead voters in March and polled them closely right on up to Election Day.

Nonexistent digital voters (NDV), new to the electoral process just this year, also played a major role. Bush Campaign officials admit they couldn't have won without them. In Florida areas using the new Diebold 'Virtual Voter' gear, excited nonexistent digital voters turned out in droves to help Mr. Bush win big in heavily Democratic counties he'd lost in 2000.

Nationwide, voters clearly rejected the good old boy bumper sticker thinking and tortured flop sweat rhetoric of John Kerry for the duller, but more intelligent and highly informed Mr. Bush, whose choice to 'play dumb' in the debates proved a brilliant tactical move. Mr. Bush's documented heroism as a war time fighter ace vs. Kerry's questionable Swift Boat experience was a major factor in exit polls.

At the VP level, trust was a big voter issue with the majority preferring the college boy good looks and natural charm of Dick Cheney over the older, smarmy, smirking, and obviously mobbed-up John Edwards. Said a proud Bush Campaign worker, "Voters know Mr. Cheney for what he is." About half the voters, anyhow.

In an exclusive report, UPI revealed using Diebold's breakthrough software to 'pre-estimate' the exact final Bush 'victory margin,' way back on October 19th. Diebold's new system clearly helps count those dead and nonexistent voters who so often have trouble getting to the polls.

The Republican landslide teaches Liberals some hard lessons about the new electorate.

While many living and legally registered voters had serious questions about the Iraq War, by an overwhelming majority, the dead and nonexistent (DNE) actually saw Iraq as a major plus for the President.

Mr. Bush was so popular in one tiny Ohio precinct of 8,000, he got a record 200,000 votes. Karl Rove, triumphant architect of the massive Republican victory had a simple strategy. He urged Republicans to 'vote early and often,' and they responded.

"God and Diebold did the rest," revealed a jubilant senior Bush Campaign operative, speaking on background.

The new Diebold DNE technology proved so powerful that many Red State counties reported final totals hours before the polls even opened. Diebold also brought major improvement over the slow 2000 Florida vote count, which Mr. Bush won by a razor thin margin. Back then, fake GOP ballots had to be laboriously hand copied and stuffed into antiquated ballot boxes, before being double-counted and inflated by State officials. The new paperless Diebold system can instantly give you the vote results you know you're due, early in the day.....

OK, maybe there IS a 'good side' to giving Mr. Bush another four years.

Now he gets to stand up and answer for the whole damn thing. The deadly Iraq War would have done to John Kerry exactly what it will do to the Bush second term.

As Mr. Bush got his 'mandate' on Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2004, at least 1,122 members of the U.S. military had died since the start of the Iraq war in March 2003, and 8,287 had been wounded. Since May 1, 2003, when he landed on the carrier Abraham Lincoln and declared major combat operations in Iraq had ended, 984 U.S. military members have died, according to wire reports. About $225 billion is invested. Imagine those totals on Veterans Day, 2008.

Our bravest kids will fall in tragic numbers for 'Iraqi Freedom,' and then like all the invaders before us, we'll tire of Babylon, and leave. History will be harsh, depending on who writes it.

You can follow our victory in Iraq as Mr. Rumsfeld sees it, at http://www.defenselink.mil/news/. The Pentagon also has a live TV feed, it's called 'Fox News.'

Fox's reality hit, "Babylon Platoon" just got a rare four-season pickup. It's a cool real life and death TV game show. The young enlisted winners get some money for college, and a chance to die old.

We who voted the other way will now get to watch our fundamentalists wage holy war against theirs. BushAmerica is now running on Eastern Bible Time. It's just like any other fake tent revival show, only with nuclear weapons and a lot yet to prove.

Luckily, our President is closely attended by wise holy men with faith so deep and hearts so pure they are trusted to know which of the Teletubbies is gay. They're in direct touch with the Almighty, at whose personal request Mr. Bush ran for and won a second term. How can we fail?

Many of us who survived the sixties deeply miss the perfect simplicity of the Godless unsmiling Commies. They were so easy to hate -- Nazis, with vodka. They fought us in Germany, China, Korea, even Cuba, and there were hundreds of them in our own State Department. They burned the Holy Bible, stole the BOMB, but they never quit blew up the whole World. Those were great days.

The GOP has made Islamic Terror the 'new Communism.' Now, they can scare you to death and get away with anything. Trust the Bush Neocons to create their own sadly comical "Big Nixon Ending." Thanks to Diebold, and the Red States, we're all going to live in interesting times.

From now on, anything Mr. Bush wants will be done in ALL our names.

Douglas O'Rourke is a writer in California and can be reached via www.columnleft.com

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Posted: Friday November 11, 2004

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