Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | News Flashes | Scoop Features | Scoop Video | Strange & Bizarre | Search

 


Iranian Leader Calls NZ MP "Good Joker"

Iranian Leader Calls NZ MP "Good Joker"

NZ news and current affairs spoof blogsite The Kiwi Herald.blogspot.com explores recent comments made by National MP Bob Clarkson

*********

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today described National MP Bob Clarkson as a 'really good joker' and 'a laugh a minute.'

Responding to the Tauranga MP's comments that 'Islam religion-type people' who wore burqas 'could be crooks hiding guns and should go back to Islam or Iraq,' the President said that he had a good giggle when he read the comment and he was sure members of Islamic Jihad had also.

"No one could possibly believe that anyone with half a brain could make such comments except as a joke," said the President, "and quite clearly the New Zealand people would not elect a - how you say - a half-wit to represent them. Personally I haven't laughed so much since MP Bob told the one about impaling his left testicle on the barbed-wire fence."

The 'take me as you find me' Mr Clarkson made the statements to the Dominion Post and then eleborated on them when he hosted the 'Good Jokers Unite Night' in Upper Hutt a few days later.

Before an adoring and jolly crowd of 'jokers' and 'the odd sheila,' Clarkson said that when he sees women in burqas walking down the street he wonders whether there could be a terrorist gang or a whole family of illegal immigrants hiding under the garment.

"Clearly allowing these so-called women to wear these tents is dangerous," said Clarkson, "Besides it's not the Kiwi way is it? Who ever heard of 'Burqas on Bikes?"

To a rising tide of laughter, applause and shouts of "Give it to 'em Bob," Clarkson turned his attention to the Government MPs, describing them as "liars, cheats and bloody crooks." He hastily withdrew a further comment that they were, "bum bandits, cross-dressers and assassins of businessmen," saying the terms had "slipped in there accidentally while I was in full voice."

Responding to a question from the floor about gay rights Clarkson said, "I've got nothing against homosexuals and lebanese as long as they're doing it in their own house. I'm with the Israelis on this one. Once they start to try and spread their preferences into other countries and kidnap normal heterosexual soldiers the Jews have to make a stand."

"Let me tell you if those homos try to ram it down my throat, look out," he said to shouts of "Bloody oath."

Mr Clarkson later refused to elaborate on what he meant by the statement telling the Kiwi Herald reporter to "keep it decent."

Meanwhile, Chris Finlayson, National's only gay MP, said he agreed with everything Clarkson had said and would be staying home in future.

ENDS

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Werewolf: Living With Rio’s Olympic Ruins

Mariana Cavalcanti Critics of the Olympic project can point a discernible pattern in the delivery of Olympics-related urban interventions: the belated but rushed inaugurations of faulty and/or unfinished infrastructures... More>>

Live Blog On Now: Open Source//Open Society Conference

The second annual Open Source Open Society Conference is a 2 day event taking place on 22-23 August 2016 at Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington… Scoop is hosting a live blog summarising the key points of this exciting conference. More>>

ALSO:

Buildup:

Gordon Campbell: On The Politicising Of The War On Drugs In Sport

It hasn’t been much fun at all to see how “war on drugs in sport” has become a proxy version of the Cold War, fixated on Russia. This weekend’s banning of the Russian long jumper Darya Klishina took that fixation to fresh extremes. More>>

ALSO:

Binoy Kampmark: Kevin Rudd’s Failed UN Secretary General Bid

Few sights are sadder in international diplomacy than seeing an aging figure desperate for honours. In a desperate effort to net them, he scurries around, cultivating, prodding, wishing to be noted. Finally, such an honour is netted, in all likelihood just to shut that overly keen individual up. More>>

Open Source / Open Society: The Scoop Foundation - An Open Model For NZ Media

Access to accurate, relevant and timely information is a crucial aspect of an open and transparent society. However, in our digital society information is in a state of flux with every aspect of its creation, delivery and consumption undergoing profound redefinition... More>>

Keeping Out The Vote: Gordon Campbell On The US Elections

I’ll focus here on just two ways that dis-enfranchisement is currently occurring in the US: (a) by the rigging of the boundary lines for voter districts and (b) by demanding elaborate photo IDs before people are allowed to cast their vote. More>>

Ramzy Baroud: Being Black Palestinian - Solidarity As A Welcome Pathology

It should come as no surprise that the loudest international solidarity that accompanied the continued spate of the killing of Black Americans comes from Palestine; that books have already been written and published by Palestinians about the plight of their Black brethren. In fact, that solidarity is mutual. More>>

ALSO:


Get More From Scoop

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news