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Lyndon Hood: Your Own Child Abuse Press Release

Make You Own Child Abuse Press Release

Interactive satire by Lyndon Hood

image by Lyndon
Click to enlarge

Recent events, highlighting our national habit of toddler-killing, have provoked widespread outrage, much of which has been aired in public.

Perhaps, like many otherwise normal people, you have yet to put out a press release on the subject. Don't worry - Scoop is here to help you.

As a service to our readers we have reproduced - completely free of charge - the offical template for outraged press releases about child abuse.

Now, for the first time, you too can join the usual suspects and multi-choose your way to the opinion pages.

We hope this will help our nation finish venting at the horrible maltreatment of this lot of children before the media notices another one.


Media Statement

Violence Against Children

Recent tragic child abuse statistics show a culture of abuse and violence and
said today.

"After the tragic death of

there was a lot of outraged rhetoric and a political talkfest. Since then the Government has

And now children continue to die. This is

"New Zealand's record on child abuse is a national shame. We must address the root cause of this blot on our society:

"The time for talking has passed - we already know what the solution is. The Government must move immediately to


"This will
And I think that's something we all can agree on.




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