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Lyndon Hood: Light Verse Versus Politics

Light Verse Versus Politics

Satire by Lyndon Hood

***

Though a wit, Michael Cullen
Made some people sullen.
They were grinding their axes
'Cos he'd not cut their taxes.

michael
cullen
Click to enlarge

***

I sing of James Patrick Anderton -
Must have been an MP forever;
Left half of the parties he's landed in,
Banned the pills from the parties he'd never.

***

Peter Dunne, to avoid opposition
Just wouldn't say which camp he'd sit in.
His party's first term
Was due to a worm,
Which seems, all in all, rather fitting.

***

Oh, if I were Technology
And Tertiary Minister Hodgson,
I'd use departments of theology
To keep circuit boards and cogs in.
That's probably why
I'm, in fact, only I
And he is Technology
And Tertiary Minister Hodgson.

***

Mister Trevor Mallard
Hit Tau Henare well hard
And nobbled, at the knees,
Public service employees.

***

Heather Roy
Is not a boy.
Trained with military efficiency,
She snipes at beneficiaries.

***

Winston Peters'
Majority teetered
Due to geriatrification -
So he complained about immigration.

winston
peters
Click to enlarge

***

One thing drew a glower
From Simon James Power;
A second thing caused him to pout.
The first was the prisons
With too many crims in;
The other was, letting them out.

***

Rodney Hide
Once was wide.

That's all I've descried
About Rodney Hide.

(Oh - he talks about "freedom".
Maybe that's why we need him.)

***

Nandor Steven Tanzcos
Has a difficult surname to rhyme on,
So I'll waste no more time on
Nandor Steven Tanzcos.

***

Russell Norman
Met a poor man
Going to the polls.
Said the poor man
To Russell Norman,
"Can I have more dole?"

Russell Norman
Said, "Well sure, man,"
(His eyes were all a-glint),
"But the price might be high
For things you might buy,
On account of their carbon print.

***

David Benson-Pope
Was given lots of rope.

***

I do not love thee, Tony Ryall.
Others sometimes raise a smile
Yet with thee, 'tis only bile
And I've know for quite a while
I do not love thee, Tony Ryall.

***

Tariana Turia
Gets angrier and furier
When the State's hand reaches
For the bottoms of the beaches.


Click to enlarge

***

Helen Elizabeth Clark
Became lady PM, for a lark:
The second (but she wasn't dejected:
The first lady wasn't elected).

***

As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He said his name was Johnny Key
And offered me a DVD.

********

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