Lyndon Hood: Light Verse Versus Politics

Light Verse Versus Politics

Though a wit, Michael Cullen
Made some people sullen.
They were grinding their axes
'Cos he'd not cut their taxes.

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I sing of James Patrick Anderton -
Must have been an MP forever;
Left half of the parties he's landed in,
Banned the pills from the parties he'd never.

Peter Dunne, to avoid opposition
Just wouldn't say which camp he'd sit in.
His party's first term
Was due to a worm,
Which seems, all in all, rather fitting.

Oh, if I were Technology
And Tertiary Minister Hodgson,
I'd use departments of theology
To keep circuit boards and cogs in.
That's probably why
I'm, in fact, only I
And he is Technology
And Tertiary Minister Hodgson.

Mister Trevor Mallard
Hit Tau Henare well hard
And nobbled, at the knees,
Public service employees.

Heather Roy
Is not a boy.
Trained with military efficiency,
She snipes at beneficiaries.

Winston Peters'
Majority teetered
Due to geriatrification -
So he complained about immigration.

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One thing drew a glower
From Simon James Power;
A second thing caused him to pout.
The first was the prisons
With too many crims in;
The other was, letting them out.

Rodney Hide
Once was wide.

That's all I've descried
About Rodney Hide.

(Oh - he talks about "freedom".
Maybe that's why we need him.)

Nandor Steven Tanzcos
Has a difficult surname to rhyme on,
So I'll waste no more time on
Nandor Steven Tanzcos.

Russell Norman
Met a poor man
Going to the polls.
Said the poor man
To Russell Norman,
"Can I have more dole?"

Russell Norman
Said, "Well sure, man,"
(His eyes were all a-glint),
"But the price might be high
For things you might buy,
On account of their carbon print.

David Benson-Pope
Was given lots of rope.

I do not love thee, Tony Ryall.
Others sometimes raise a smile
Yet with thee, 'tis only bile
And I've know for quite a while
I do not love thee, Tony Ryall.

Tariana Turia
Gets angrier and furier
When the State's hand reaches
For the bottoms of the beaches.

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Helen Elizabeth Clark
Became lady PM, for a lark:
The second (but she wasn't dejected:
The first lady wasn't elected).

As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He said his name was Johnny Key
And offered me a DVD.

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