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Lyndon Hood: Trade Briefs

Trade Briefs

Satire by Lyndon Hood

Bollard asks bears not to hibernate
China Responds to Human Rights Concerns


Bollard asks bears not to hibernate

The Reserve Bank has attempted to prevent overreaction to a projected downturn, urging the nation's bears not to "go into hibernation".

It is understood that the announcement was part of Governor Bollard's efforts to stop people talking down the doomed economy.

Responding to the statement, the bears paused for a moment and sniffed the air before crawling into a small cave and starting the big furry snore machine.

A spokesman for the bears said that, "It's not as if they've ever listened to Bollard before. I mean, if they'd acted like he wanted about the housing market it might not be winter now."

Bollard's statement received mixed reaction from the finance sector, with one commentator complaining that "the market [was] bearish enough as it is".


China Responds to Human Rights Concerns: "No"

New Zealand has been able to use its unique position as a preferred trade partner to directly receive a negative response to a range of requests for the nation to improve human rights.

During talks with China's Premier Wen Jiabao, Helen Clark is understood to have expressed the hope that China would address human rights generally and in particular the response to recent unrest in Tibet.

Premier Wen said that, in recognition of NZ's special relationship with China, Ms Clark would be permitted to hope "as much as she wants".

Famous worldwide as a champion for human rights, New Zealand has also demonstrated its influence over China by including fewer rights and labour protections in the FTA than normal.


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