Lyndon Hood: The Week Incoherence
The Week IncoherencePart two-ish of an highly irregular series.
By Lyndon Hood
First thing: Hoodie Day. Why no presents? I waited and waited.
And though I am a satirist, that Kapiti Community Board guy - of the KKK outfit and so on - he did not count as a gift.
If I said it was like offering an international-grade sharpshooter a toy dart board for a present, would you understand what I meant? It's nice he's apologised but I think the fact he hasn't already been lynched says something about the state of our justice system (Please note I don't mean that in a bad way! It's just satirical and an effort to draw attention to some entirely unrelated issue). Anyway, on behalf of all hoods, I disavow him.
And that reminds me, how come all these people are being found not guilty? We could sort that problem out once and for all if we abolished trials.
Now the primaries are finally over I think it really is time for McCain to admit Obama has the numbers and concede.
Back to New Zealand, and how about those polls? I'm told there were early Christian hermits who spent ages at the top of poles for no apparent reason. So perhaps John Key is not just popular but holy. Though I've always thought of him as partly.
That last paragraph is probably better read out loud.
I was also hoping for a surprise party. Though I wouldn't have said anything if anyone had sent presents.
World Environment Day. It's important because the environment is, like, all around us. They could even have called it 'World World Day'. I expect it didn't occur to them.
The environment is even more important than hoodies. Still, everything in moderation I suppose. Well, not everything in moderation. If I had to do everything, even in moderation, I wouldn't have time for anything.
Yeah, so New Zealand is hosting Environment Day, because of all our world-leading initiatives such as saving the Black Robin and recycling Mark Todd.
National has complained about the waste when thousands of environment brochures got recalled because of a mistake. I think the real waste was all those phonebook-sized budget estimates they handed out in the lockup. Once the journalists had worked out what their tax cuts were going to be they were never used again.
Incidentally, I'm pleased the tax cuts don't seems to be increasing inflation but I still don't understand why this means I have to buy a dirty great block of cheese every week.
One way the journalists could recycle their estimates books is by using them to clarify their understanding of the wider tax system. For instance by making a flipbook animation: