Comment & Opinion | Book Reviews | Car Reviews | Daily News Summaries | Gordon Campbell | News Flashes | Scoop Features | Scoop Video | Strange & Bizarre | Unanswered Questions | More Categories

 


Lyndon Hood: Police Trial Vindicates s59 Amendment

Anti-Smacking Amendment Vindicated By Police Trial!

Satire by Lyndon Hood

The debate over changes to section 59 of the Crimes Act was marked by concern that ordinary parents, going about their everyday business of hitting their children, would be criminalised.

The more pointy-headed supporters of the amendment had a response. The "loving smack" championed by the bill's supporters - perhaps we imagine it as a slightly grumpy sort of caress - would be so minor and forgivable a technical assault (as if I were to slap your wrist for trying to navigate away from this column) that no judge or jury in the land would convict. And hence, it isn't properly illegal.

This position has been spectacularly vindicated by a recent court case. If it's not assault to repeatedly baton and pepper spray a man who was offering no harm to himself or others - just imagine what you can do to your child!

I'm sure the nation will be as reassured as I am by this verdict.

Parents can relax. If they judge appropriate parental disciplining of some misbehaviour requires physical violence, or the deployment of low-level weaponry, they should do what seems best at the time. Parents do, of course, make on-the-spot calls like this every day.

And, though parents have special obligations which the court will no doubt recognise (and, under the current section 59, special protection), that applies to all of us. Meeting not going well? Hit somebody! It seemed like the best solution at the time! Then, if they don't like it, hit them again!

I'm sure the nation will breathe a sigh of relief as the burden of nanny-state state interference is lifted from their acts of interpersonal violence.

Not so anxious about that referendum now, are we?

In closing, I would also note the Falwasser case adds a new argument in favour of smacking your children.

In a world where it's so hard to imagine what a police officer could do in the course of their duties that would qualify as assault, being belted by a rogue parent is the least of their worries.

It'll be good practise for them.

********
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

John Minto: Hone Harawira - Speaking Truth To Power

John Minto writes: None of this should need to be said but the reaction of so many to Harawira's angry email resembles the deeply embedded racism which Don Brash tapped into so successfully a few years back at Orewa. More >>

Damien Baker: Profits Mask Food Shortages in a Land of Plenty

The petroleum industry arrived in the Lake Kutubu area, around 20 years ago with Chevron and BP and soon the delicate ecological balance often in play in remote areas began to shift. More >>

The Israeli Exception: Gilo And East Jerusalem

In 1987, the conservative author Midge Decter described her association with Israel and those willing to place it above conventional judgment. ‘We know ourselves to be bound by ties so deep, so essential, so unconditional, that they are beyond daylight... More >>

Gordon Campbell: The 9/11 Terrorists On Trial

For years, human rights advocates have argued that terrorism is essentially criminal behaviour, and terrorists should therefore be tried under the rules of due process that democratic states have developed over centuries for dealing fairly with crime... More >>

Paul Buchanan: The Strategic Utility of Terrorism (and why jihadism is losing)

A Word From Afar: Paul Buchanan writes: One of the axioms of counter-terrorism is that the nastiness of the atrocity is inversely proportional to the terrorist’s chances of success. That is to say, the worse the act, then less likely that terrorist... More >>

East Timor: The Role Of Journalists In The Freedom Struggle

The struggle for justice is not a contest between Indonesians and non-Indonesians. Rather, it is a contest between those around the world who want to justice to prevail and those who want to see impunity prevail... More >>

Globalization Unchecked: How Alien Media is Suffocating Real Culture

A Muslim family sits across of me in café, in a largely Muslim Asia country. An older woman shyly hunches over and desperately trying to avoid eye contact with the giant plasma screen TV, blazing loud music on the popular music video channel, MTV. ... More >>

Martin LeFevre: Falling Leaves, and Squirrels

One is so accustomed to seeing the gray squirrels in the parkland leap from branch to branch with perfect dexterity that it came as quite a shock to see one miss his mark and fall into the creek. More >>

MOST READ HEADLINES

 
 
 
powered by newsagent
NZ independent news