Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | News Flashes | Scoop Features | Scoop Video | Strange & Bizarre | Search

 


Hood: Key Cancels "Wasteful" Employment Summit

Key Cancels "Wasteful" Employment Summit

Satire by Lyndon Hood

The National Government has cancelled another conference, with Prime Minister John Key describing it as "a waste of public money at a critical time".

During a line-by-line review of spending by the department of Prime Minister and Cabinet, Mr Key discovered the so-called "Summit on Employment", which was to be held in Auckland on February 27.

The summit, which was organised by bureaucrats, was to gather business leaders together from around the country to have a bit of a chat about employment-related issues.

"Employers are the life blood of our economy," said My Key, "We don't want them swanning around at some fancy conference venue eating sausage rolls - they should be at work employing people!"

My Key emphasised the he supported the goal of gathering fresh ideas to retain and grow jobs. "But haven't they ever heard of email? Or telephones?"

"Unfortunately we won't be able to recoup the money spent on branding and publicity for the conference," Mr Key continued, "I shall be asking some very stern questions about why an publicly-funded event needs its own logo.

"Not that it's a bad logo. It's got lines making a sort of mountain. Summit, you see. Because it's a summit."

After an uncomfortable pause Mr Key suggested it might actually be a roof with retrofitted insulation.

My Key cited this action as proof the he and the Beehive political staff were right on the ball when it came to saving money.

"In these hard economic times we need to make sure every taxpayer dollar is well spent. How many manufacturing workers could be employed with that money? Or, to put the spending in more standard terms, how many hip operations could an osteopathic surgeon employed with that money perform?

"The number of blocks of cheese involved doesn't bear thinking about."

A spokesman for the Prime Minister's office later clarified that, while whether the summit was a waste of money was debatable, Mr Key did not want to be the last minister to cancel a conference or fire somebody.

********

Got feedback? Leave a comment on Lyndon's blog

 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

Urewera Raids: 'Operation 8' Trials Begin Today

Annemarie Thorby of the October 15 Solidarity Group: Over four years ago in New Zealand, on October 15th 2007, more than 300 police carried out dawn raids on scores of houses.

That was the day more than 60 homes up and down the country were raided, 17 people arrested and the Tuhoe community of Ruatoki, a small rural town in the Te Urewera region of the Bay of Plenty was locked down... More>>

ALSO:

 
 

Gordon Campbell: On Syria

So far, the fighting in Syria has largely been limited to its smaller cities – Homs in particular... All the same, Homs is a cautionary example of the dangerous fault lines that run through the entire society. More>>

ALSO:

Werewolf: Undaunted Oakland

It gets really tiring living in Oakland. Practically every television newscast is straight from the police blotter. Murders. Marches. Mayhem. Mayoral recall. (Oops! That last one’s not from the blotter but from the OPD to-do list.) ... More>>

ALSO:

Werewolf: Human Rights, Pinochet And Asset Freezes

Gordon Campbell interviews Baron Collins of Mapesbury, recently retired judge from the British Supreme Court. Politicians are always tempted to take pot shots at judges, who have relatively few friends among the general public. More>>

ALSO:

Mark P Williams: Waitangi – What Makes A National Day?

Should Waitangi Day be seen as a national day when it provokes such diverse and divisive responses? That depends on whether you think unity should overrule differences of perspective and opinion... More>>

ALSO:

mitt romneyGordon Campbell: On Mitt Romney’s Victory In Florida

So Romney now looks a certainty to be the Republican candidate against Barack Obama in November, after yesterday’s win in conservative Florida put paid to the claim that he was not really conservative enough to win the nomination. More>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: Gordon Campbell On The Arrest Of Mourad Dhina

The arrest in Paris of the highly respected Swiss-based Algerian human rights campaigner Dr Mourad Dhina is one of those cases where the actions of France seem (a) outrageous (b) consistent with how France routinely behaves towards dissidents from its former colonies... More>>

State Of It: On The Folly Of Political Appointments

State Of It: The saddest thing in this awful affair is that the National Party's response via its appointment to the board of New Zealand On Air is not one of how to advance a cross-party accord on creating real solutions to child poverty – but ... More >>

Richard S. Ehrlich: Terror Suspect Says Ammonia in His "Cool Packs" Not For Bombs

BANGKOK, Thailand -- An imprisoned Lebanese-Swedish terror suspect said he stockpiled medical "cool packs" which "contained ammonia" for commerical export, and is not a Hezbollah member, after being arrested for possessing 10 gallons (38 liters) of ammonium nitrate which ... More >>

LATEST HEADLINES

More RSS  RSS
 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops
Search Scoop  
 
 
powered by newsagent
NZ independent news