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How Much Grief Could You Hide Behind a Smile?

How Much Grief Could You Hide Behind a Smile?


By Yaser Harara in Gaza

I need some photos of the pigeons you keep, he sends me a photo of his cats, he tells me: “these are pigeons that say: “Meow, Meow”!” - Ahmed, Gaza, May 2015

Who would have known that there would be some Palestinian who listens to Eminem or 50 Cent? Who would have known that someone here would be willing to do jumps like this one? (pictured above) Who would have known that this person would be having the hardest of times coping with his life?

The first time I met Ahmed at some course, I had the impression that he is a spoiled kid who never had a problem in his life. While the rest of us in this mean place called Gaza are having lots of hardships.

You could easily be fooled by his sense of humor, his ever laughing nature, and his cheerful spirit. However, Ahmed was my first encounter with the fact that if someone laughs too much, then they are lonely deep inside. This was when he first invited me to his house.

The first time I walked into that house I got shocked by how it is damaged and on the verge of collapsing. It had damaged walls and ceiling, it had also some rooms without a door, instead just a piece of wood.

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Then, after all that suffering from working here and there, learning to fix everything his hands could touch, and help supporting his family, his mother died in 2012.

When this happened, he almost lost his mind. Her prayers for him before he went out were the thing that kept him going. Now this source of light went out. He became alone; unemployed, and still had to support his brothers and sister.

All this never stopped him from struggling to provide his little family with what they could survive with. He got by in the end with help from his friends, and jobs he could win because of his multiple talents. All of these were things that kept him going, but they would not be enough, especially when you feel lonely inside.


Now he tries to surround himself with friends, family and even pets. Ahmed likes animals more than any other person I have seen. He likes to keep cats and pigeons and likes to take affectionate photos of them all the time.


Ahmed is also an adept football player, able to dodge all other players and then score, or at least he used to be before his knee got injured. As of now he needs an operation that he cannot afford. But yet he keeps moving forward.

As if all this was not enough struggle for Ahmed.

"Why would those who start conflicts not take into account that there are people who care nothing about their political issues and just wish to live peacefully like everybody else on this planet?", he asks.

Just like his life, Ahmed's only shelter is barely standing with a lot of cracks and dents in the Zinc roof. His house being located near Gaza's borders, it is vulnerable to damage by any kind of attack. And is threatened every time a conflict occursin Gaza, directly or indirectly.

Ahmed is still struggling to find a job using his hard earned Civil Engineering degree. In the meantime he has developed the mentality of a businessman. He has started several businesses and reached the point of failure several times because of the ever fluctuating economi state in Gaza.

He does all this because family comes first - he likes to say - wishing that this would help him get a decent life and also help him fix his house that is falling apart.

As I leave I wish him all the best and for his life to change. I have rarely encountered someone who has a loving heart like his.


*************

Yaser Harara is an English writing student living and working in the Gaza Strip. He wrote this article for Scoop as part of a programme called "We Are Not Numbers" which pairs Gazan students with international editors and mentors. Yaser is being mentored by Scoop Editor and Publisher Alastair Thompson.

© Scoop Media

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