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Dear Vodafone - When does the Sun Arrive?

Dear Vodafone,

Thank you for opening this letter. I may have to put you on hold for a couple of minutes while playing “Here comes the Sun” several dozen times.

After that I may put you through to a noisy call centre, where (just about) above the general din I will ask you for your account number and a general explanation of your problem.

After that I will put you on hold for a couple of hours and a few further renditions of Here comes the Sun, whereupon someone will eventually answer and repeat the process.

This will happen at least three times. With at least three separate people who will ask exactly the same questions whilst tippy tappying on computers (one wonders why the information cannot be simply forwarded from one to another. I guess technology will catch up some day)

You will get eventually some sort of explanation as to why your service has been stalled and ensured everything will be back to business as usual.

A week - or seven in some cases- later I will repeat this process. You may become so averse to "Here comes the Sun" whilst trying to go about your daily business that if you were of a suspicious turn of mind you might come to the cynical conclusion that I just want you to give up.

I must put you on hold for a couple of hours and let you enjoy "Here comes the Sun."

Then I will send you an automated message and more "Here comes the Sun"

Then another one. Then another and another.

I understand that your staff may be underpaid and stressed and probably have to put up with a fair amount of abuse from customers whose livelihoods depend on your services, so here is a suggestion. Why not recruit, train and pay people with a little more largesse?

I may have to put you on hold for a moment while I check your latest bill – the one that someone in India had assured you would be amended. It would have been nice if you could have been recompensed for seven weeks of non-service, but never mind, at least the phone system improved enough to send you an automated threat message.

Oh Listen! It’s "Here comes the Sun" again.

Some quotes:

They keep saying they will have a technician call me but they never have. Again today 1 1/2 hours later with bated breath waiting for a call tomorrow. This has been going on since mid April!

good luck with Vodaphone there service is terrible

OMG there is no way I can explain all the ongoing issues I am having with Vodafone within a few paragraphs, so I will not try! Here are some tips I have picked up Jennifer.
- If you don't want to ring a Vodafone rep based overseas (eg. general enquiries and tech support), ring their sales number because that team is based in NZ. The sales team also appear more helpful.
- Make sure they write notes on your account about what they are doing / what was agreed so other reps can refer back next time
- Write down the name of everyone you talk to so you can name-drop when you need to ring them again and again and talk to different reps each time.
- After I moved house they couldn't connect me to copper (which was different to what was agreed beforehand!) They instead connected my landline to FibreX (such a stupid idea!) Anyway, if you wanted to see if they changed your service, you could try plug your phone into the phone jack on your Vodafone wifi router if you have one. You might need a different phone cable though.

These are genuine quotes – Three of 75 in a similar vein from a local news sharing site.


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