Don’t Stop There Jim

ACT New Zealand warmly supports the proposal by Progressive Party Leader Jim Anderton to impose a levy on sugary soft drinks to help fund free dental care for all New Zealanders, says the Party’s Spokesman on Dodgy Beverages, Sir Roger Douglas.

“There’s no doubt the consumption of sugary soft drinks has reached crisis proportions. Mr Anderton is quite right in pointing to an epidemic of dental decay comparable to the Bubonic Plague.

“The incidence of obesity, diabetes, cancer, herpes and athlete’s foot is at an all-time high. The causal role of sugary soft drinks in these and all other diseases is incontrovertible. And I am a great believer in treating causes rather than symptoms,” Sir Roger enthuses.

“For that reason I’d suggest to Mr Anderton he shouldn’t stop at a levy. Rebellious people will still insist on imbibing anti-social abominations such as Coca Cola and Gatorade even when they’re made more expensive. Longer term, after we’ve salvaged everyone’s teeth with money from the levy, we should prohibit these beverages altogether.

“In fact, there should be an Index of Banned Beverages, and it should include milk, whose sugar levels are also unacceptably high.

“Mr Anderton has not shrunk from banning things in the past, even when savage right-wing critics have, outrageously, called him such names as ‘Banderton.’ I call upon him to muster up that same degree of public-spirited resolve now and lead a revitalised Progressive Party overflowing with born-again Prohibitionists in spearheading the march to a sugar-free future.

“After all, people need to be saved from themselves … and no one has a prouder record of trying to save people from themselves than Jim Anderton,” Sir Roger concludes.

ENDS

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