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Top 10 Reasons Jonathan Hunt Qualifies As Great

Top 10 reasons Jonathan Hunt qualifies as one the 20 greatest living New Zealanders:

1. Only New Zealander recognised as having the blood type Pinot Noir.

2. First MP in history to empty the parliamentary swimming pool with a single late night belly-flop.

3. Over a weekend in the 1980s, without the aid of any staff, singlehandedly watched all eleven episodes of 'Brideshead Revisited'.

4. Contributed to the development of a free market by singlehandedly making the subsidy at Bellamys uneconomic.

5. Recently won an international competition for the smallest number of people you can fit in a Volkswagen.

6. Through his regular custom, 129 Indian taxi drivers have been lifted out of poverty.

7. The shock value of his cellulite has been described by Weta special effects as "worldclass".

8. Helped avert disastrous New Zealand "wine mountain".

9. His arrival in Britain will qualify as the largest single shipment of meat to that country since they joined the EEC.

10. Improved the lives of countless New Zealanders by....err, umm...sorry, is a mate of Helen Clark's.

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St Molesworth

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