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Molesworth: Top 10 Changes Under Margaret Wilson

Top 10 ways Parliament will be different when Margaret Wilson is speaker

1. MPs now to swear allegiance on a copy of 'Helen: Portrait of a Leader'.

2. After a week on the job Molesworth and Featherston forget about Hunt and declare Wilson the greatest speaker in Parliamentary history.

3. Opposition spokespeople to be given larger desks so occupants appear smaller on TV.

4. References to 'the Crown' in future legislation to be replaced with 'University of Waikato Law School'.

5. Father of the House now to be known as Gender-Neutral Kaumatua of the Whare.

6. Opening prayer to be replaced with rousing rendition of 'I am Woman'.

7. The Treaty of Waitangi will be discovered to contain previously unnoticed reference to the CTU.

8. The sheepskin rug on the speaker's chair to be replaced with a handmade Nicaraguan peasant blanket.

9. Messengers instructed to carry out random tests on Mark Peck's "water jug".

10. Parliamentary Question Time runs as smoothly as the Labour Party in the 1980s.

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