Stateside: Let’s Play Spot The Kernel Of Truth!

::Take THAT, you pesky judge::
Reportedly muttering under his breath, “Hot damn, that Lee Baca’s got balls,” the California Governor signed the Anti-smacking (Paris Hilton) Act, 2007, into law at the weekend. The legislation “merely affirms in law what is standard police practice,” said the Governor. Lee Baca was elected to office as Los Angeles County Sheriff in 1998 against some stiff competition. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Baca

::So-speedy-she’s-almost-instant Rice::
Tesla Rice-a? Former locker room jock huntress, Condy Rice was recently seen on the San Francisco Peninsula in the passenger seat of the exciting new luxury electric car, the Tesla. Her visit to the car’s manufacturer fueled zero-emission speculation that she will be fronting the company’s ad campaign when the Tesla is launched in Dubai next year.
http://fora.tv/ (use the search term “mabry” for the goss about Rice’s misspent youth)

Speaking at a later visit to a Palo Alto after-school program she set up while working at Stanford University, Rice urged the kids there to set their sights high. “Selling $350,000 electric cars to folks who’ve made their millions from oil might seem like an impossible dream,” she said, “but if I can do it, you can too. Just don’t put too much ketchup on that slice of bread you’ve got for dinner or you’ll get obese and won’t be able to fit in the passenger seat.” http://www.state.gov/r/pa/ei/pix/2007/may/85487.htm

::America’s Got Knitting Needles::
Now that the summer TV season is here, the airwaves are a purgatory of agonizingly awful people suffering (not, while we do) under the illusion that they have a talent of some sort. How refreshing it is, then, to see the quiet, sedate pace of Purly Gates, the new show in which knitters vie not to be cast off. An early casualty was Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman, Peter Pace. Who even knew the guy could knit?!

::Colonel Kicks the Bucket::
While on things military, I was shocked to see this week that the Colonel has removed his zef, that very large upside-down fez, painted in red and white stripes and sporting the Colonel’s mugshot, which heretofore topped his eating establishments. Now that he’s kicked the bucket, how am I going to use it as a landmark when I tell folks what my favorite cafe is next door to?

::Table for Four-and-a-Halfwit::
Speaking of fast food, a little-known fact from the 2000 election is that when he was vying to be the Republicans’ nominee for president, George W. Bush took a leaf from the newly popular concept of speed dating to hire himself out as a dinner date for anyone willing to contribute to his campaign.

Four people at a time would squeeze into a dinette booth with him, just long enough to scoff down a shrimp with Two Island Dressing on it, before the next four folks at $1000 a head took their place. Five hundred shrimp and a Thousand Island Dressing later, his campaign coffer was $500k richer.

Proving once and for all that a Columbia University education is far superior to one from Yale, 2008 Democratic presidential primary contender Barack Obama has the good sense to take the money from everyone who would possibly want to go to dinner with him before deciding on the four who will. http://news.myspace.com/politics/barackobama/item/5188541

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