Frontline Wine: Tits and Teeth in the Trenches

It’s a hoot to see the human side of large companies in the wine and spirits trade. For most of the year, us gnats on the frontline only see the façade they want us to see: a freshly white washed wall of professionalism administered by robotic sales reps selling trade lies. The whole falsity is laid down and controlled by chuckling, rosy cheeked superiors who never leave their offices except for race days or large sporting events sponsored by the company. It’s all tits and teeth. Friendly friendly friendly friendly…

But that’s all it is. One big façade. These massive companies seem to be run by people who would use their own grannies as a biodynamic culture if it meant their precious wine filling two extra spaces on the shelves at Pak and Save (and their wines usually taste like they have). There is no integrity: money means everything to them.

The human side for many of the large corporates isn’t a virtue…it’s a blight. Occasionally, greed gets the better of them and we see these cardboard cut outs, the words DISHONEST written across their brows talk their way into a hole so deep, you almost feel pity for them.

For example, what was Morton Estate's recent excuse for illegally siphoning off of river water onto their vines during a drought? The excuse was “the managers were protecting their babies (their vines)". I swear to God. They actually said that. Their "babies". From a vineyard that produces wines with so little character that only the calloused tastebuds of the very stingiest supermarket shoppers can garner any enjoyment from them. And then, they have the gall to try and use the publicity generated from a disgusting theft of resources from their neighbours for their own benefit to somehow imply it was a crime of passion!

I hope that the receipt from the $50,000 fine they were ordered to pay, that tiny dent on their annual profits, is put in glass case in their winemaker’s cabinet beside the accolades they proudly display. I hope it shames the lot of them into realising how disgusting it was to turn a disgraceful act into a marketing opportunity. They should show some integrity, apologise to their neighbours…and try a bit harder to make something worth stealing water for.

And it’s not just wine. 42 below vodka (well, imported, distilled Australian grain flavoured with essence if we’re going to be technical here…world class it ain’t!) had their logo blazed across the war memorial in Wellington! Can you believe it? What a bunch of ignorant, stupid, low-life, greedy rats. An abhorrent act, made all the more disgusting by Chief Executive Paul Dibbayawan’s derisory offer of four hundred and twenty bucks and a case of poorly made vodka.

Four hundred and twenty bucks? FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY BUCKS!!! What a joke. A 42 below apology from people so stupid it makes your jaw flap in the wind like it has covered it in ‘essence of feijoa’. I bet they thought that was a great idea to turn a company disgrace into an advertising opportunity. I’d even bet they spend more on staff drinks on a Friday night than the four hundred and twenty bucks donated to the war veterans. Personally, I…think…the veterans should be allowed to strap this Paul fella to the top of the memorial and throw lit Molotov cocktails of 42 below vodka from the ground at him. Not only would it have put the vodka to good use for a change, but it would also give the ignorant sod a chance to experience something of what those who died in combat defending the country had to go through. Or perhaps some glass vials of their own vodka to bite on when the going gets tough for the top brass would be another fitting 42 below Vodka tribute to the war the rest of us might actually enjoy seeing the results of. How pathetic. Apologise, resign and show the human decency lacking from the company’s recent actions by taking FULL responsibility for an act of supreme ignorance.

Tasted

Churton Estate 2003 Sauvignon Blanc, Marlborough

Sam Weaver’s wines are, (having tried through his entire range recently) amongst the best in the country for quality and price (his pinots are excellent too). This older Sauvignon from one of his first vintages proved it best. A pronounced savoury nose leads to a complex, textured palate of dry, full bodied nectar. Restrained fruit, a sliver of lively minerality and a pleasant length to last you until you brush your teeth that night. An incredible wine for its age. I advise you go buy a case of his 2008 and throw it under your stairs for 5 years. For the price, there is no better NZ wine worth investing in.

$25.00

Dirler Kessler Riesling Grand Cru 2007, Alsace

New Zealand has the potential to make some world class Riesling. When Central Otago realises its potential for Riesling far outweighs the world’s needs for fat, muscular, overpriced pinot noir (revered only by money-hungry wine writers in the pocket of the wine trade and the ignorant sheep who follow blindly), it may one day focus on the aromatic varietal I believe would serve the region best and challenge the likes of the great wines of Alsace. Sadly, we’re a long way off seeing anything from this country in the same bracket as Dirler’s big Kessler Riesling 2007. And what a beauty this wine is. A wall of oily flavour, some sweetness mid palate progressing to a dry, voluptuous finish of considerable complexity, I guarantee your tongue will be humping the side of your cheek like a Jack Russell in heat having been bathed in such magnificence.

$80

Stonyridge Larose 1991, Waiheke Island

A beautiful wine that establishes the wine in my opinion as the very best produced in the country, year in year out. This is the glass ceiling for price that all other producers must have in their sights. Amazing structure, the acidity and skinsy flavour weigh heavy on every other element of taste you can detect. It intertwines through the weave of the palate rather than sitting, parallel on the sidelines as ‘backbone’. The length is incredible, the bulbous texture memorable; it is a fine wine worthy of international repute. To the advantage of the wine trade as a whole, its quality should be shouted about from the rooftops, rather than being hidden away as a collector’s gem or regarded as poor man’s Penfold’s Grange.

$299

paulbrannigan03@hotmail.com

ENDS

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