Sexual Rights for HIV positive people – Part I

Sexual Rights for HIV positive people – Part I

We all need to have the right to decide what happens to our selves and our bodies, whatever our age, whatever our gender, whatever our sexual reality. Pacific Islands AIDS Foundation (PIAF) calls for the recognition of the sexual rights of people living with HIV and AIDS – for parenthood, for reproductive health care, for sexual relationships and pleasure.

“My name is Francoise Welter, I am the policy coordinator for the greater involvement for people living with AIDS (GIPA) and the global network of HIV positive people (GNP+). Sexual Rights is a subject that has always been dear to my heart.

Not because it’s a great thing to fight for, rather it’s because when talking about the sexual rights of people living with HIV you’re talking about me, you’re talking about my daughter, and you’re talking about my daily life. When I was diagnosed in 1996 I was immediately put on antiretroviral treatment (ART). Another way of coping with my virus was to commit to a life of total celibacy.

Why did I make this decision? Glad you asked. I’m not really sure, all I know is that it feels right. I know that I am in a cage, but at least it is a cage of my own making. My doctor asks, ‘are you having sex yet?’ And I say no. He says, ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ And I say no. He says, ‘keep up the treatment.’

My daughter was born HIV positive. She is a poster child for HIV positive children on ART. Now she is 14. She is strong, healthy and athletic. She has decided to put off sex and put off the pill. Now she has started dating. She has a boyfriend and he is gorgeous. He’s taking her infection in stride. He even takes her to her doctor appointments. Other than that they are a normal couple, walking home together, chatting on the computer. They text each other just before going to bed, and she is always the last to respond wishing him a good night’s sleep.

This is where the sexual rights and sexual reproductive health needs are most important. Her room has pictures of them kissing. She has decided to put off having sex until at least 16. This is a decision she made by herself – my opinion was neither wanted nor asked for. I thought this story was important. Watching my HIV positive daughter enter her sexuality with such grace and maturity is the single most important reason for me to ensure sexual rights.

She has so much confidence. I have no confidence at all. There is a new generation of young people living with HIV and AIDS. They fully intend to seize everyone of their rights including sexual rights and every reproductive option available. I honestly don’t think we are asking for any special rights. We are just asking for the same sexual and reproductive rights as everyone else.

I don’t want to be judged by my infection if I have a partner or if I am having sex. But we are judged. I want it to be my choice. We want to have it be our choice. To not have a child, to have a child. To have sex with a woman or a man. These are things that others don’t have to think about.”

Francoise Welter, a member of the Global Network for HIV Positive People (GNP+) and GIPA. She was born in Rwanda, but is a long time permanent resident in the Netherlands.

Sexual Rights for HIV positive people – Part II will follow soon, a Pacific view.

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