The Great New Zealand Fire Sale auction opens today

The Great New Zealand Fire Sale auction opens today

The Great New Zealand Fire Sale spokesperson Don Key said “Well boy do we have the deals for you! This is an exciting opportunity for a mum or dad investor to own what is already theirs. We will be listing money making assets and strong public services for you to get your greedy hands on in the next two weeks. These once public assets will make a fantastic profit for your multinational company or you can just asset strip them and run them into the ground. All transactions will occur after the 26th of December”

“To start the auctions off we have the Karapiro dam. Owned by Mighty River Power this is a great piece of Kiwi ingenuity. Completed in 1947 by some hard working Kiwi workers this dam has been a pride of the Waikato River for over 70 years but now it’s got to go! On sale this week only buy 2% of the legendary Karapiro Dam”

“The Government has 49% of this up for sale but we already got some investment bankers from Hong Kong to agree to buy most of that so up for grabs today is the last 2% Kiwi’s can get their hands on”

“You can check out some of our other great auctions to get your hands on Kiwi assets before they are all gone. You can follow our auctions on our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/nzfiresale. Don’t worry if you miss out this time, I am sure we will be selling some more in another year or two’s time”

[The purchaser of this auction will receive a certificate of ownership of Karapiro Dam, if you want to actually own it: Vote to change the Government. Any proceeds of completed transactions will be donated to the Auckland City Mission to help those struggling to deal with the rising cost of living.]

ENDS

Authorised by Tim Grigg, 100a Forth Street, Dunedin.

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