Retirement Warnings Are Keeping Men Awake

Men across New Zealand and Australia are increasingly losing sleep over whether they’ll have enough to retire.

Glenn Conley, founder of mindset consultancy Mindshiftr and a certified Rapid Transformational Therapist, says fear around retirement is being fuelled not by an individual’s reality, but by the messaging surrounding it.

“Men are being bombarded with projections, calculators, and forecasts telling them they’re behind,” says Conley. “The result is anxiety and paralysis. They feel judged, inadequate, or simply lost.”

The concern, he says, often has little to do with actual income or savings. “What I hear most is: ‘I’m running out of time.’ But when we dig into that, the issue isn’t money. It’s fear—fear of not being enough, of being different, of being seen to fail.”

Retirement anxiety is a mindset problem

Conley works with men who, despite good careers or stable businesses, feel overwhelmed by pressure to meet external financial expectations. “They’re measuring themselves against retirement calculators, what their peers are doing, or what their parents achieved,” he says.

“But very few stop to ask what’s actually important to them.”

Conley says the problem starts with what he calls “the yardstick.” “If your measure of success is based on someone else’s idea of retirement, no wonder you feel like you’re behind,” he says. “We need to redefine what enough looks like—individually.”

He says that much of the current retirement advice landscape drives fear rather than clarity. “People are catastrophising. They hear about homelessness or hardship in old age and imagine themselves there. It creates a reaction, not a plan.”

Three steps to reduce retirement stress

1. Recalibrate your definition of enough 
“Start by asking: What would actually make me feel content?” says Conley. “Without a personal benchmark, you’ll always feel like you’re falling short of someone else’s target.”

2. Watch your inner language 
Statements like “I should have more money” are red flags. Conley says to challenge that thought: “Is it true? Why do you believe that? What have you done about it?” He says, turning those beliefs into action: “Instead of judging yourself, decide what you’re willing to do next.”

3. Align with your actual intention 
“For many men, the real driver isn’t a lump sum,” Conley says. “It’s peace of mind, security, the ability to provide. When your actions match your deeper intention, you’re more likely to follow through.”

He also warns against letting subconscious beliefs remain unchallenged. “Most of our thinking around money was formed before we turned seven. If you were raised around scarcity, that’s your default. It doesn’t mean it’s your future.”

From fear to focus

The good news, Conley says, is that these beliefs can be changed. “I work with clients to rewrite their money story. Once they realise they’ve been operating from old programming, they stop reacting—and start acting.”

He says that purpose, not panic, should drive financial planning. “If you’re losing sleep over retirement, don’t start with a calculator. Start with a question: What do I want my life to feel like—and what would enough look like to support that?”

ABOUT

Mindshiftr helps people break free from limiting beliefs, emotional blocks, and subconscious patterns that keep them stuck. Founded by Glenn Conley, a certified Rapid Transformational Therapist and mindset coach based in New Zealand.

Mindshiftr offers practical, neuroscience-backed tools to support real and lasting change. With a focus on midlife transformation, Mindshiftr empowers clients to reframe their inner narrative, reconnect with purpose, and build a life aligned with who they truly are.

Whether through one-on-one sessions or the Breakthrough Programme, Mindshiftr creates space for clarity, healing, and growth—because it’s never too late to shift your mindset and reclaim your direction.

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