5 tips to being healthy, wealthy and loving in 2012

5 tips to being healthy, wealthy and loving in 2012

By Brenda Rawlings

As people commit to New Year’s resolutions to eat less, spend less, exercise more, what about a resolution that could change your life, give you better health and happiness? This resolution could be the best gift you ever give your children and is reported to be the best savings or retirements plan ever invented. It might even result in great sex!

No it’s not a drug! It’s not a diet or exercise plan. It doesn’t involve large sums of money but it does require you to put in a little bit of practice every day, as you might at the gym. But the results could well change your life and those around you for the better.

In 2012, make your relationship with your partner your number one priority. Two easy keys are to really listen to them and two, make sure that every day you tell them something you appreciate about them and what it adds to your life. This exercise could take as little as 10 minutes a day but the results could transform the way you talk to each other.

Many people find their relationship with their long term partner a source of stress and anxiety. We get locked into unhealthy negative patterns where we see the person that we live with as the problem. Deep down, we want to be close to them, to have their eyes light up in delight when we enter a room. But instead we find ourselves nagging and criticising, or closing up and withdrawing.

Make a New Year Resolution to improve your relationship with these 5 tips. (and remember you can do it on your own, without your partner, and it will still make a difference!)

1. Listen to your partner when they talk about what is happening for them. Really listen to them in a way that shows them you care for them and are curious about who they are. Instead of waiting to reply or interrupt, listen, make it about them. When one person gets angry or withdraws often it is how they manage their anxiety when they feel alone or as though they can’t do anything right. So talk to your partner about your fears and hurts. When you talk, make it about you, not them. When you listen, make it about them, not you.

2. Use willpower. You might feel you are playing a game with one person always shouting and the other withdrawing or clamming up. It only takes one of you to do something different to change the negative pattern. Catch yourself when you start to want to nag and criticise, take a deep breath and pause. Look for something to appreciate and say it! If you are the one who withdraws, gather up your courage and say something, tell your partner what’s going on for you. Practice every day saying something you appreciate about your partner and what they add to your life.

3. Change your thinking. We often think that it is our partner who is the problem in our relationship. If they would change, then everything would be okay. The reality is we usually choose people that we are not entirely compatible with to be in a relationship with. We need to learn how to love and appreciate each other’s qualities and differences, not make them like us. This is a critical part of a mature relationship. After you have moved from romantic love it’s quite normal to move to conflict and difficulty. Practice these steps and you could move back to a more happy state.

4. Don’t give up. All relationships require work, just like a healthy body or mind. You’ve lasted this long with each other, look at them with those eyes that first attracted you. Remember to be curious again and eliminate the negativity.

5. Make your relationship your number one New Year’s resolution. Plan a fun trip together or decide to spend an hour or two one evening a week, just the two of you. Maybe get a kick start with a few hours of counselling with a specialist relationship counsellor or do a couples workshop together.

Begin the New Year with a smile, a hug and an appreciation of your partner. Look at your partner as someone you want to get to know better, with curiosity and interest, and a deep knowing that they are different to you and that is why you chose them.

Practice these tips and 2012 could become a standout year, oh and keep you healthy and wealthy!

Ends.

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