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"The Corrective Party is now launching a Zero Fashion Atrocity policy. Many people report that they are traumatised by the sorry fashion choices of past decades. Under our Zero Fashion Atrocity policy, flares, platform shoes, afros, mullet hair disasters, excessive bangles, ripped fishnet stockings, inversely worn lingerie, balloon pants, stonewashed jeans and grey zipup leather shoes will be declared objectionable on aesthetic grounds." Sister Malodora said today, unveiling her party's newest policy statement.

When it was pointed out this would make New Zealand Farce illegal apart from its immaculately dressed leader, Sister Malodora smiled enigmatically:

"This is not political favouritism. After all, we also support stronger dog control laws to get rid of ARF's smelly presence in Parliament. And Ill Thinglish needn't think that lying on the ground in skimpy shorts and a tight t-shirt means Nationill will be treated any better. Paul Holmes lying on the ground in skimpy shorts and a tight t-shirt, on the other hand..."

Sister Malodora
Spokesnun
The Corrective Party:
Turning Red With Embarrassment.
(06) 3583609

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Gordon Campbell: On How National’s ”New” Welfare Plan Resurrects A Past Failure

Sam Uffindell’s defenders keep reminding us that he was only 16 at the time of the King’s College incident, and haven’t we all done things in our teens that, as adults, we look back on with shame and embarrassment? True. Let's be honest. Haven’t we all at one time or another, joined a gang and beaten a smaller, younger kid black and blue with wooden clubs? In that respect, Uffindell’s defenders on the streets of Tauranga risk sounding a bit like the psychiatrist Kargol played by Graham Chapman on Monty Python. Some of the media commentary has also noted how the Uffindell saga has taken the shine off National’s good poll results and distracted us all from the unveiling of an important welfare policy at the recent National Patty conference. OK… So let's put the spotlight back on that welfare policy...
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