Correctives Launch Nuncard!!!
"The Corrective Party takes no pleasure at all in
shamelessly ripping off the Labour Party and launching our
own Nuncard!!!" exclaimed Sister Malodora earlier
DISCIPLINING NEW ZEALAND
1. Spanking - it's good
for you, but only if you're a consenting adult so you can
appreciate it properly!!!
2. The Unconcieved - chastity
belts for men to prevent the cries of the little unconcieved
as they go splat on the cruel latex walls of penile
3. Stake the Undead - unfortunately, the
Association of Repulsive Fangbearers only comes out of the
coffin at night- but out of deference for the Greens, we
don't recommend useing native forest stakes!!!
Tumescence - all pointy phallic objects should be banned,
including the shameless Auckland Sky Tower and the lewd
5. Outlaw GM Politicians - especially a
certain Capon with Christian Haemorrhoids and a Mad
"The Correctives take these policies
seriously, as we have no chance whatsoever of being able to
deliver them, but at least we're honest enough to admit
Sister Malodora The Corrective Party: Spanking the
Monkey!!! (06) 3583609
© Scoop Media
PM's Statement: Deadly Eruption Of Whakaari / White Island
At this stage, we can confirm that amongst those currently listed as missing or injured are New Zealanders who were part of the tour operation, and tourists from Australia, the United States, the United Kingdom, China and Malaysia. That is to the best of our knowledge.
To those who have lost or are missing family and friends, we share in your unfathomable grief at this moment in time, and in your sorrow. Your loved ones stood alongside kiwis who were hosting you here. We grieve with you, and we grieve with them... More>>
Police Update: Work Continues On Recovery; Clarification On Investigation
Police has been working with Defence and Fire and Emergency NZ (FENZ) to determine conditions on the island including gas levels in the atmosphere, so that we can understand the nature of the current conditions...
Police can also confirm we have commenced an investigation into the circumstances of the deaths and injuries on Whakaari / White Island... To correct an earlier statement, it is too early to confirm whether there will also be a criminal investigation. More>>
Gordon Campbell: On The Eruption And Tourism Safety
Adventure tourism is a central theme in New Zealand tourism, and by definition, adventure always includes a certain level of risk. That said, New Zealand itself is also at risk of being seen as a tourism destination where commercial factors – rather than safety factors – are routinely allowed to determine the point where the boundary line of acceptable risk is being drawn. More>>