Correctives: Penguins quail at chclt addiction

Tuesday, 11 February 2003, 9:02 am
Press Release: The Corrective Party

Correctives: Penguins quail at ch*c*l*t* addiction!!!

"I'm quailing!!!" expostulated Tripitaka Adelie- Penguin, busy trying to evict Sister Mycocardial- Infarcta from the party's electorate offices in the Ross Dependency.

The Corrective Party's controversial Penguin MP today denied that any Adelie-Penguin hatchling had uncontrollable urges to run amok in schools and cause massive anarchy under the influence of illicit ch*c*l*t*:

"It's a lie, an absolute lie, and was obviously invented by those crazed nun violence advocates. Hah!!! They can talk!!! I mean, what sort of reputable religious order would accept Keth end Keem into its ranks, and do I ever mean *rank* in their case!!!"

Ms. Adelie-Penguin refused to comment on rumours that the Corrective Party organisation was trying to suspend her, preferably from on top of an iceberg somewhere in Antarctica far away from shipping routes.

Scoop Citizen Members and ScoopPro Organisations are the lifeblood of Scoop.

20 years of independent publishing is a milestone, but your support is essential to keep Scoop thriving. We are building on our offering with new In-depth Engaged Journalism platform - thedig.nz.
Find out more and join us:

Scoop Citizen Membership ScoopPro for Organisations

Find more from The Corrective Party on InfoPages.

Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines

NEW ZEALAND POLITICS

Land, Air & Sea: Regions To Benefit From NZ Upgrade

Regional New Zealand will be a hive of activity in the coming months as the New Zealand Upgrade Programme delivers on its promise to modernise our infrastructure, prepare for climate change and help grow our economy. As part of the $12 billion NZ Upgrade Programme announced by the Government last month, $300 million was allocated for capital projects in regional New Zealand.
The first package of regional projects – worth about $190 million – has been announced by Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones at an infrastructure seminar today... More>>

ALSO:

NZ Govt - Ōpōtiki Harbour Finally Gets Green Light - Milford Gets Connected With NZ Upgrade - NZ Upgrade On North Island Regional Roads - NZ Upgrade On South Island Roads
Opotiki District Council - Opotiki Harbour funding – community will grab opportunity
Stratford District Council - SH43 Funding Another Win For Economic And Tourism Growth
RNZ - Regions to get share of $190m infrastructure funding
TOI EDA - Eastern Bay To Boom Following PGF Funding

Gordon Campbell: On The Donations Scandals

By now, it seems crystal clear that something is deeply amiss with the way that New Zealand political parties solicit, receive and report their funding. Evidently, the nominal threshold of $15,000 that requires public disclosure of the donation ... More>>

ALSO:

National - Statement From National Party
Serious Fraud Office - SFO Confirms Receipt Of Police File On Christchurch Mayor
Jami-Lee Ross - Statement Of Jami-lee Ross - "Spoke Up Now Set Up" - Foreign donation loophole still wide open
Our Seas Our Future - No Place For Dirty Politics In Fisheries
RNZ - Transparency International warns need for political funding reform is urgent - Man Charged Over National Party Donations Planned To Go To Party's Candidate College - Jacinda Ardern Tries To Soothe Virus Rift With China - Coronavirus: Expert Warns More Flights Could Be Cancelled - National Party Donations Case: 'I Am Now Being Painted As The Scapegoat' - Jami-Lee Ross - 'We Need To Apply Natural Justice' - PM On NZ First Foundation Investigation - Not One, But Two $100k Donations To National In Court - National Donations SFO Charge Details A Surprise - Bridges - PM Jacinda Ardern Washes Hands Of NZ First Foundation Photos Saga - Simon Bridges Says NZ First Foundation Investigation Should Be SFO Priority
Serious Fraud Office - SFO Commences Investigation In Relation To NZ First Foundation - SFO Confirms Receipt Of Police Referral - SFO files charges in National Party donations case
NZ First - Statement from New Zealand First leader Winston Peters
NZ Taxpayers' Union - Taxpayers’ Union welcomes SFO investigation of donations
Transparency International NZ - New Zealand tops the 2019 Corruption Perceptions Index
Greenpeace - Greenpeace Calls On PM To Launch Review After NZF Fishery Donations Exposed
Horizon Research Limited - New Zealanders Deeply Suspect Fishing Industry Donations Will Influence MPs’ Decisions

New Zealand Government: Action On Fuel Market Competition

The Government has released a comprehensive response to ensuring New Zealanders get a fairer deal at the petrol pump. This follows the Commerce Commission fuel market ... More>>

ALSO:

National - Kiwis Continuing To Be Fleeced By Fuel Tax
ACT - Election Year Populism Won’t Cut Fuel Prices
BusinessNZ - Fuel Market Competition Questions
NZ Taxpayers' Union - National STILL Won’t Commit To Cutting Fuel Tax

Child Poverty: 18,400 Children Lifted Out Of Poverty

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has welcomed new reporting showing the Coalition Government is on track to meet its child poverty targets, with 18,400 children lifted out of poverty as a result of the Families Package... More>>

ALSO:

NZ Govt - Benefit Settings Rise In Line With Wages As Of 1 April
Statistics NZ - Latest child poverty statistics released
National - 20k More Children In Poverty Under Jacinda Ardern
CTU - Increase Wages To Address Child Poverty
The Salvation Army NZ - More Government Action Needed To Lift Children Out Of Poverty
Lindsay Mitchell - Almost 12,000 More Children On Benefits
Caritas - Risk That Child Poverty Is Becoming Ingrained
Royal Australasian College Of Physicians - Te Rā O Ngā Tamariki NZ Children’s Day: Making Whānau Wellbeing The Norm

Gordon Campbell: On Our Unreal Optimism About Coronavirus

At this week’s Chinese New Year celebrations, PM Jacinda Ardern was resolutely upbeat that business with China would soon bounce back to normal – better than ever, even - once the coronavirus epidemic has been brought under control. To Ardern, ... More>>