Anti US Activist Apprehended in Dunedin

From Otepoti Independence Front

An Anzac day anti American action nearly resulted in criminal charges being laid against a Dunedin activist on Saturday morning.

Offended by the sight of an American flag displayed prominently on a residential Dunedin rooftop, members of the Otepoti Independence Front felt it was their duty to remove the symbol of oppressive imperialism from the Dunedin landscape. Anzac Day was chosen as an apt day to express their opposition to evil.

“We basically don’t want that kind of shit around here. This is Aotearoa, not america.” Said an OIF member who prefers to be known only as Brother Burns.

Burns took on the flag removal mission, but was rumbled red handed by a resident of the property. He gained access to a steep veranda rooftop by shinnying up a post just before 1am on Saturday.

The flag came down with little effort, but as he stood proudly on the roof with the flag in hand, he was interrupted by a voice from below asking him; “What are you doing on my roof?” Throwing the flag to the ground, Burns climbed down and told the startled resident where it was at.

“ I told the guy that the raid wasn’t personal, that it was a symbolic gesture against george bush Junior and his whole regime. He seemed quite angry, told me that the flag was an ironic gesture, but that he wasn’t into ‘that anti war protest shit’. We had a quick, highly charged discussion before he picked up the flag and walked back inside. I furtively scurried off.” Said Burns.

At the time of writing the flag is still down. The Otepoti Independence Front have sworn to cleanse the local landscape of the cursed symbol of yankee aggression.

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