"In a recent Wellington newspaper, the Correctives read of the sinful influence of avocados in our society. These lascivious and fleshy fruits appear to drive women to acts of lust and passion!!!"

"We count ourselves grateful for having one Phillipa Pkarrrk in our Society To Outlaw Prurience, Indelicacy and Titillation (STOP-IT) networks. Phillipa Pkarrk is a Researcher into the traumatic effects of Avocados, and she has written a number of articles on the unnatural effects of avocados. All right, all right, so the sample size is small, the population consists of Mongolian yak herders on the Uzbekistan frontier, the Sisterhood of Jesus'es Flagellation was the control group, and it was taken about fifty-three years ago." admitted Sister Psychotica SM.

"However, Philipa Pkaark still maintains that this Research shows that avocado consumption can have traumatic and devastating effects on women's lives, through provoking acts of lust and passion. We commend Avocado Concern to all committed Christians, particularly those who have escaped recently."

Contact: Sister Psychotica SM @ 06 3583609

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