Gordon Campbell | Parliament TV | Parliament Today | News Video | Crime | Employers | Housing | Immigration | Legal | Local Govt. | Maori | Welfare | Unions | Youth | Search


An Open Letter To John Mcdonald Re: Dancing With The Stars Vacancy

Apparently you have a vacancy on your programme after Kanoa Lloyd decided she didn’t “need to see a homophobic Pasodoble or a xenophobic Cha Cha.”

Now, we have to admit we don’t know what a Pasodoble is. But we do know xenophobia when we see it. Does that count?

You see, TOP has great policies that would fundamentally cha-cha-change New Zealand for the better. Ideas that would waltz all over our housing crisis and environmental emergency. Policies so great they make us want to, um…. floss.

What we lack to implement our policies is popularity. So, we formed a Popularity Research Team of Youth (PRETY) and they came across your programme. Apparently it is popular on the telly. Do you livestream as well?

Anyway, the clincher was that you seem to have a slot set aside for D-grade politicians from minor parties. Have we got a deal for you! Sure, we haven’t been polling great, but then Hannah Tamaki hasn’t shown up in the polls at all.

Our Leader Geoff Simmons lives by the adage “dance like nobody's watching”. This could be difficult to maintain on national TV, but then you did let David Seymour wear spandex.

If you want someone who can actually move, how about our Ōhāriu candidate Jessica Hammond? She once came 2nd in an amateur Lower Hutt Cha Cha competition. She totally knows her way around a ballroom. It’s clockwise, right?

If you are looking for controversy or someone for the audience to hate, have you heard about our plans to tax property the same as we do other investments? Surely that will upset your audience far more than xenophobia.

Anyway, thanks for listening and considering our proposal. And remember: it takes TOP to tango.

© Scoop Media

Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines

Gordon Campbell: On The America’s Cup, Critical Race Theory And A New, Weekly Music Playlist

So… Why don’t they just cut to the chase, and call it the Emirates Cup? As this column predicted several months ago, the next America’s Cup challenge is headed overseas. Here’s what Werewolf said back in March:
Emirates has made a major commitment to Portsmouth/Isle of Wight as a sailing centre of excellence – and voila, that’s where the next challenger of record is coming from, and where the next Cup contest could well be sailed. Such incredible luck for Emirates, right..? More>>


Marine: Wider Roll-out Of Cameras On Boats To Support Sustainability And Protect Marine Life

Up to 300 inshore commercial fishing vessels will be fitted with on-board cameras by 2024 as part of the Government’s commitment to protect the natural marine environment for future generations... More>>


Government: Plan For Vaccine Rollout For General Population Announced

New Zealanders over 60 will be offered a vaccination from July 28 and those over 55 from August 11, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today... More>>


Jewish Council: New Zealand Not Immune From Rise In Antisemitism

The representative body of New Zealand Jewry, the NZ Jewish Council (NZJC), has expressed concern about the high number of antisemitic incidents in New Zealand recorded last month. Spokesperson for the NZJC, Juliet Moses, said... More>>

NZNO: Nurses Reject DHB Offer And Confirm Strike Action

The New Zealand Nurses Organisation says its 30,000 members who work in DHBs have voted overwhelmingly to reject a second offer in their current round of multi-employer collective agreement (MECA) negotiations... More>>





InfoPages News Channels