Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs you’ll ever undertake, but it can be one of the most rewarding according to social services provider Family Works Northern.

It’s one that we usually have very little training and preparation for says Family Works Waikato, Rotorua and Taupō Area Manager, Lynne Fairs. Most of us learn to parent as we go from the mistakes we make along the way, but Family Works is helping to change that by running free parenting programmes around the region.

“We try to help people learn how to parent before they get it wrong. We want parents to enjoy being parents. We all know how busy life is and we, as parents, often spend so much time rushing around that we forget to enjoy it.

“Parenting programmes can make a big difference to parents being able to build positive relationships with their children by encouraging positive behaviour and addressing any challenging behaviours,” says Lynne Fairs.

Family Works offers three main parenting programmes.

Incredible Years is designed for parents with children aged three to eight-years-old. The 14-week course is run in Hamilton, Rotorua and Taupō and Auckland. Class sizes are usually around 14 people. As well as covering what to expect your children to be doing at different ages, Incredible Years works with parents to develop good communication with their children and establish good parenting strategies.

Family Works has just begun its first Incredible Years – Autism course in Rotorua to support the skills and confidence of key adults in the lives of two to five-year-old children on the autism spectrum. By doing this, the course aims to promote children’s emotional regulation, positive social interactions, language development and relationships with others.

Parenting Through Separation is open to all parents who have separated. It is run over one day in Rotorua and Whakatāne, over two days in Tauranga and via Zoom. In the Rotorua and Tauranga regions, parents need to complete the course if they are going through parental custody cases through the courts.

Parenting Through Separation shows parents how to focus their communication on the best interests of the child or children and separate out the adult issues which often get in the way and overshadow these.

Family Works also runs a Women Against Violence Education (WAVE) 10-week course in Tauranga, Whakatāne, Hamilton, Taupō and Rotorua. The course supports women who have experienced family violence, provides information about the dynamics of family violence, promotes effective safety planning to improve their and their whanau situations and includes aspects of parenting.

In Hamilton, Family Works runs the Parenting In Prisons course, which is based on parenting being forever.

“Often, when there’s an issue, it’s the mothers that are contacted about it and fathers are excluded from the conversation,” says Lynne Fairs. “However, children need both parents and parents need to be aware of their children’s needs.”

“Parenting In Prisons is run over seven sessions and helps fathers and mothers in prison to stay engaged with their children. During the course, there is a really open discussion on what it’s like being a parent, what are the challenges, looking at the different stages of brain and child development, what’s good for children, and what’s not good for them.

“We also talk about whether parents play with their children as well as communication, connection and having fun is crucial,” says Lynne Fairs.

“As part of the discussion on communication, we cover what parents can put in place to protect their children, what parents want for their family and the rules they want to put in place. For instance, we encourage family conversations around what they want to be rules for their family like no swearing in the house, helping each other or no fighting.

“This family conversation is crucial to support healthy communicating families,” says Lynne Fairs.

Prison case managers or probation officers put people’s names forward to be registered to do this course.

To find out more about other free parenting courses in your region, visit: https://www.familyworksnorthern.org.nz/events

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